at the hussein mosque she came in wearing big loose black garments and a veil like all the women there were dressed
she oozed so much confidence
and strong will
she was big and full of life like a warrior of light
she was so strong
like a fighter like no one can stand in her way
the man at the door wanted to take her shoe and give her a number like everyone else
but she refused
she said i wont take a number
she put her shoe on the shelf and with a loud strong voice she said
im with God
she went to the tomb of al Hussein the grand son of my beloved prophet
and she started singing poetry of sufi love
praising the prophet his grandson and all his family
praising the sufis GOD and the seekers of light
she took away all my sadness
she sang like she did not care what anyone thought
everyone gathered and cried
she touched all our souls
she was different and confident
like a thousand men could not stand in her way
like a million women were inside her abaya
like a warrior of light
she took us all in a sufi trance
she made me realize why this land is so precious
because its full of light and spirituality
so many poor people tied closely to God
the egyptians are originally mystics
the egyptian muslims are mostly sufis
don't fear the fundies the warriors of light will win
because they pray from the heart
and from them true peace can fill the land
this land is worth it
this land is full of light
and the sufis will not stop singing
today i met a woman who said im with God
and no one can stand in her way
Monday, September 19, 2011
Sunday, September 18, 2011
evolution revolution
if you keep fighting it you will gain nothing
its part of the spiritual evolution
so many angels on this earth right now
here to take us higher
here to change us
all the experts know about 2012 and how much it will be so much better for us
all the tyrants have no place
all of those who were swiming in cash are drowning now
or finding shores where their cash means nothing
you can fight it
you can blame the u.s and isreal for everything on earth
but you can also embrace the change
you can realise its good
your soul knows it
you can stop using ur monkey brain
you can open your heart
your soul wants to evolve too
let it
God is so close
you are connected to him know it or not
believe in him or not he created you and the world as you know it
the old ways of running after money and power will not work anymore
yes your life was comfortable but now is the time to feel for the rest of those on the sinking boat
we can keep crying for the few we think are now unjustly in jail
we can keep falling into hate and misery and fight the waves of change
but its happening so you might as well surf
you might as well let it go and let the meant to be happen
if you were attached to the material world
you will have nothing
find God inside you
yes its not like hollywood and all the cool things that make talking about him geeky
but you know what? God is here and he is great and so much light came from him and his angels
maybe its time you realise the practical and mundane are lame
or not
but everyone else is embracing the light
im not judging you
you are the only one still suffering
we all suffered from fear but now we are happy and we realized the impermenance of our material enviroments
stay in the freak out zone
we will find the light
and we will be dancing in circles with the angels while you dread the change and how things did not go ur way
we will be high while you keep smiling at the instability saying i told you so
but we are not shortsighted we know its part of the evolution to go through some instability and guess what we are not glued to the news
and guess what there is no me and you
there is no us and them
there is no concpiracy either
because we are all one we are all divine because we are all him and he is inside each of us and the skies tie us on this earth into one
and if you open your eyes you will see so much beauty and if you close your eyes you will see even more light and beauty
love and peace on you
its part of the spiritual evolution
so many angels on this earth right now
here to take us higher
here to change us
all the experts know about 2012 and how much it will be so much better for us
all the tyrants have no place
all of those who were swiming in cash are drowning now
or finding shores where their cash means nothing
you can fight it
you can blame the u.s and isreal for everything on earth
but you can also embrace the change
you can realise its good
your soul knows it
you can stop using ur monkey brain
you can open your heart
your soul wants to evolve too
let it
God is so close
you are connected to him know it or not
believe in him or not he created you and the world as you know it
the old ways of running after money and power will not work anymore
yes your life was comfortable but now is the time to feel for the rest of those on the sinking boat
we can keep crying for the few we think are now unjustly in jail
we can keep falling into hate and misery and fight the waves of change
but its happening so you might as well surf
you might as well let it go and let the meant to be happen
if you were attached to the material world
you will have nothing
find God inside you
yes its not like hollywood and all the cool things that make talking about him geeky
but you know what? God is here and he is great and so much light came from him and his angels
maybe its time you realise the practical and mundane are lame
or not
but everyone else is embracing the light
im not judging you
you are the only one still suffering
we all suffered from fear but now we are happy and we realized the impermenance of our material enviroments
stay in the freak out zone
we will find the light
and we will be dancing in circles with the angels while you dread the change and how things did not go ur way
we will be high while you keep smiling at the instability saying i told you so
but we are not shortsighted we know its part of the evolution to go through some instability and guess what we are not glued to the news
and guess what there is no me and you
there is no us and them
there is no concpiracy either
because we are all one we are all divine because we are all him and he is inside each of us and the skies tie us on this earth into one
and if you open your eyes you will see so much beauty and if you close your eyes you will see even more light and beauty
love and peace on you
Thursday, September 15, 2011
The science of pain
Pain comes on slowly it gets stronger and stronger and stronger until you can not bear it any longer
then pain has to faDe slowly cuz that's how pain works
They say endure it
Pain teaches you the blessing of not having it
Pain is mostly from stress
The mind can't handle it
so it manifests
in an aching part of ur physical body
Pain has to go away
It makes you suffer
And from that you grow
and learn about the pains of others
You then relate
Pain is a club a dark one that makes you bond
You know exactly how it is for those
who are going through what you went through
Pain teaches you about impermanence
Makes you decide to detach or else die and get it over with
Pain and patience go hand in hand
Nobody wants to talk about pain
When pain leaves peace of mind rests and suddenly you are so close to GOd
As if the demons in your head caused the pain
and at other times the pain itself brings you close to GOD
Pain is not fair but it's a great teacher that leaves scars and gives you stories to share
Pain is very close to pleasure
When the pleasure is absent then comes pain
teaching us to leave the game
And find a safer place
where there is no pleasure and no pain
Don't be a magnet to the pain
Pain chooses his victims like they are waiting to suffer
Don't go through another's pain
Help but don't feel it
You will get your share so don't bleed twice
Be the strong rock instead
Pain is part of human life
We can't escape it
Pain is a harsh good teacher
But I thank GOd for the pain cuz it taught me about blessings of peace of mind
But the worst kinds of pains are pains of the heart
Keep the heart happy and pure cuz sooner or later pain will visit and the heart needs to be peaceful and away from pleasure
Love is painful
So even in love rise moderately and don't fall hard
So the bruises don't give you too much pain
then pain has to faDe slowly cuz that's how pain works
They say endure it
Pain teaches you the blessing of not having it
Pain is mostly from stress
The mind can't handle it
so it manifests
in an aching part of ur physical body
Pain has to go away
It makes you suffer
And from that you grow
and learn about the pains of others
You then relate
Pain is a club a dark one that makes you bond
You know exactly how it is for those
who are going through what you went through
Pain teaches you about impermanence
Makes you decide to detach or else die and get it over with
Pain and patience go hand in hand
Nobody wants to talk about pain
When pain leaves peace of mind rests and suddenly you are so close to GOd
As if the demons in your head caused the pain
and at other times the pain itself brings you close to GOD
Pain is not fair but it's a great teacher that leaves scars and gives you stories to share
Pain is very close to pleasure
When the pleasure is absent then comes pain
teaching us to leave the game
And find a safer place
where there is no pleasure and no pain
Don't be a magnet to the pain
Pain chooses his victims like they are waiting to suffer
Don't go through another's pain
Help but don't feel it
You will get your share so don't bleed twice
Be the strong rock instead
Pain is part of human life
We can't escape it
Pain is a harsh good teacher
But I thank GOd for the pain cuz it taught me about blessings of peace of mind
But the worst kinds of pains are pains of the heart
Keep the heart happy and pure cuz sooner or later pain will visit and the heart needs to be peaceful and away from pleasure
Love is painful
So even in love rise moderately and don't fall hard
So the bruises don't give you too much pain
Tuesday, September 13, 2011
Cairo post rev
I love people watching
I go out to cafes to see what everyone is up to
What they are saying
And from that i understand how things are in a place
Yesterday at night in tabasco cafe
A young man of artistic nature ordered a coffee and wanted to light a cig in the closed space
I asked if he doesn't mind waiting till I leave since me and my baby we can't breath
He was understanding
He waited and gave me the right of oxygen
His two girl friends came in and hugged him cuz he just came from Alex
They really missed him
He had so Much art to show them in his notebook and many interesting stories to tell them about life in Alex
They were all liberal, wearing jeans and t shirts very Egyptian and very proud
Two strong women who felt like they were taking care of him
He was so slim he doesn't eat much
So they laughed and ordered their own lunch
He started telling his stories his sad stories
He was loud and we were the only ones there
I told them I hope you guys don't mind that I can hear everything you are saying
I am entertained but I want to have your permission to continue listening
They laughed so much and apologized
I explained that I'm loving it
They went on to telling their story
he talked about Alexandria
that Alex has become another gaza
Beards and long cloaks everywhere
All the workers are dressed in the typical Islamic garments and the army is creating an environment of hostility
He said things are much worse in Alex
You see Alexandria has always been more conservative
And after the fall of the Islamic phobic regime the Saudi influenced people are shining now and it's like they are all out of the closet
Even here in Cairo
Suddenly the long messy beards have grown out of the once shaved faces of men I used to know who worked at the store
I realized they were always religious but Mubarak made them hide it since they could have been arrested
Anything forbidden is more interesting
They forbade religion and made it so wrong that now it's freedom showing that you are very religious
I believe religion is inside us
But I believe people should be able to dress and look the way they want to
The young man told his girlfriends that two of his Friends died in Alex
I was shocked they are young
He said one died from a heart attack in his apartment
The other from an overdose
Many people are dying from heart attacks these days
I could relate some of the nights of the revolution I could have easily lost my life too
My heart was almost stopping from fear of the thugs and gunfire of the old regime
I wondered if the islamists rule will these friends be able to meet again and sit together and laugh
Will they be able to wear short sleeves and touch as they talk
I started remembering how we look at the way Egyptians used to dress at the king Farouk times
we never know if the way we dress now will be remembered as the good old days of freedom
thats if the islamists rule
then i said no
the liberals are here
they wont let it go
the voice of the fundies is high
but they are a minority
the sufis and the liberals are still here
we egyptians are faithful by nature
faith is part of our being
so its natural for religion to play a role
but freedom and arts are also parts of us
i dont wanna be obsessed with the islamist boogiman like my fellow x regime lovers
i dont wanna be paralysed by fear from the lack of security
life will go on
art will go on
if i paint and the worker works and the singer sings
maybe life will be better here
it already feels way better
just now i was overhearing a group of people forming an alliance to help egypt
loud people who are passionate and a bit annoying are discussing the future of the country which is awesome
there is a buzz
and it is exciting
I go out to cafes to see what everyone is up to
What they are saying
And from that i understand how things are in a place
Yesterday at night in tabasco cafe
A young man of artistic nature ordered a coffee and wanted to light a cig in the closed space
I asked if he doesn't mind waiting till I leave since me and my baby we can't breath
He was understanding
He waited and gave me the right of oxygen
His two girl friends came in and hugged him cuz he just came from Alex
They really missed him
He had so Much art to show them in his notebook and many interesting stories to tell them about life in Alex
They were all liberal, wearing jeans and t shirts very Egyptian and very proud
Two strong women who felt like they were taking care of him
He was so slim he doesn't eat much
So they laughed and ordered their own lunch
He started telling his stories his sad stories
He was loud and we were the only ones there
I told them I hope you guys don't mind that I can hear everything you are saying
I am entertained but I want to have your permission to continue listening
They laughed so much and apologized
I explained that I'm loving it
They went on to telling their story
he talked about Alexandria
that Alex has become another gaza
Beards and long cloaks everywhere
All the workers are dressed in the typical Islamic garments and the army is creating an environment of hostility
He said things are much worse in Alex
You see Alexandria has always been more conservative
And after the fall of the Islamic phobic regime the Saudi influenced people are shining now and it's like they are all out of the closet
Even here in Cairo
Suddenly the long messy beards have grown out of the once shaved faces of men I used to know who worked at the store
I realized they were always religious but Mubarak made them hide it since they could have been arrested
Anything forbidden is more interesting
They forbade religion and made it so wrong that now it's freedom showing that you are very religious
I believe religion is inside us
But I believe people should be able to dress and look the way they want to
The young man told his girlfriends that two of his Friends died in Alex
I was shocked they are young
He said one died from a heart attack in his apartment
The other from an overdose
Many people are dying from heart attacks these days
I could relate some of the nights of the revolution I could have easily lost my life too
My heart was almost stopping from fear of the thugs and gunfire of the old regime
I wondered if the islamists rule will these friends be able to meet again and sit together and laugh
Will they be able to wear short sleeves and touch as they talk
I started remembering how we look at the way Egyptians used to dress at the king Farouk times
we never know if the way we dress now will be remembered as the good old days of freedom
thats if the islamists rule
then i said no
the liberals are here
they wont let it go
the voice of the fundies is high
but they are a minority
the sufis and the liberals are still here
we egyptians are faithful by nature
faith is part of our being
so its natural for religion to play a role
but freedom and arts are also parts of us
i dont wanna be obsessed with the islamist boogiman like my fellow x regime lovers
i dont wanna be paralysed by fear from the lack of security
life will go on
art will go on
if i paint and the worker works and the singer sings
maybe life will be better here
it already feels way better
just now i was overhearing a group of people forming an alliance to help egypt
loud people who are passionate and a bit annoying are discussing the future of the country which is awesome
there is a buzz
and it is exciting
Monday, September 12, 2011
Juliet and mars
If men are from mars
And women are from Venus
Why on earth do they live together
Mars is cold
Venus is warm
Mars is happy alone for long intervals
Venus loves company
Mars doesn't notice so many details
Venus is aware of every little thing and it touches her psyche
Venus listens
Mars interrupts
Venus is spiritual and dreamy
Mars is practical and earthly.
Mars is a desert
Venus is a forest
Mars is cold and sarcastic
Venus is warm and empathic
Why do mars and Venus decide to live on earth together
They come from opposite worlds and only before sharing a bed does it seem like the 2 worlds can coexist
Why do they come from different worlds if they were meant to live together
And why did Romeo not mention the cave when he fell in love with Juliet
And women are from Venus
Why on earth do they live together
Mars is cold
Venus is warm
Mars is happy alone for long intervals
Venus loves company
Mars doesn't notice so many details
Venus is aware of every little thing and it touches her psyche
Venus listens
Mars interrupts
Venus is spiritual and dreamy
Mars is practical and earthly.
Mars is a desert
Venus is a forest
Mars is cold and sarcastic
Venus is warm and empathic
Why do mars and Venus decide to live on earth together
They come from opposite worlds and only before sharing a bed does it seem like the 2 worlds can coexist
Why do they come from different worlds if they were meant to live together
And why did Romeo not mention the cave when he fell in love with Juliet
The city is charming
The city is charming until u have a baby
And it becomes overbearing
The pollution
The filth
The dirt
The dust
The traffic
The lack of nature
Cairo is not meant for children but rather adventurous young couples or single women and men
Living the urban dream
Living the rustic way
Dear Cairo
I love u but to me u have eXpired
And it becomes overbearing
The pollution
The filth
The dirt
The dust
The traffic
The lack of nature
Cairo is not meant for children but rather adventurous young couples or single women and men
Living the urban dream
Living the rustic way
Dear Cairo
I love u but to me u have eXpired
Wednesday, September 7, 2011
New Cairo
There is another world out there for
X cairenes who chose the cleaner life and escaped the city
They chose the suburbs
Young families with young children moved to the sprawling city
In gated compounds they live in greenery
With less pollution and their children can run free
They have malls like the rest of the world
I visited mall of Arabia today and I even found rich women in the abaya and loose hair like in Dubai
Shops like gimberee gap zara home oysho and more make me feel home and that if I need something I don't have to travel
Spinnies opened there and the experience is world class
It's so nice to see Egyptians in uniforms working just like the people of the world
And this tome they smile more and have more hope
If only the people in the cafes won't smoke
a much the experience would be worldly.
Yes it's exciting to see Egypt embracing modernity with local brands like Mobaco concrete and beonos offering services like international
competitors
I was celebrating in mall of Arabia
The old city has it's charm back in Cairo but it sure is nice to walk without crooked sidewalks
To be surrounded by clean new infrastructure
To see kids running free and families having their rights to breath and be themselves not worrying about what the bawab will say or even if the elevator is still not working
New clinics new schools wider roads lovely compounds a sense of community and hope for Egypt
Yes I love 6 of October and I wish I was part of that world
X cairenes who chose the cleaner life and escaped the city
They chose the suburbs
Young families with young children moved to the sprawling city
In gated compounds they live in greenery
With less pollution and their children can run free
They have malls like the rest of the world
I visited mall of Arabia today and I even found rich women in the abaya and loose hair like in Dubai
Shops like gimberee gap zara home oysho and more make me feel home and that if I need something I don't have to travel
Spinnies opened there and the experience is world class
It's so nice to see Egyptians in uniforms working just like the people of the world
And this tome they smile more and have more hope
If only the people in the cafes won't smoke
a much the experience would be worldly.
Yes it's exciting to see Egypt embracing modernity with local brands like Mobaco concrete and beonos offering services like international
competitors
I was celebrating in mall of Arabia
The old city has it's charm back in Cairo but it sure is nice to walk without crooked sidewalks
To be surrounded by clean new infrastructure
To see kids running free and families having their rights to breath and be themselves not worrying about what the bawab will say or even if the elevator is still not working
New clinics new schools wider roads lovely compounds a sense of community and hope for Egypt
Yes I love 6 of October and I wish I was part of that world
Friday, September 2, 2011
dear egypt
please seek the turkish model
please leave the persian trouble
please for the love of God be better
youre always beautiful nomatter how dirty they make you and how instable you are im safer here then anywhere
cuz here is love cuz here is family cuz here i will make it
please leave the persian trouble
please for the love of God be better
youre always beautiful nomatter how dirty they make you and how instable you are im safer here then anywhere
cuz here is love cuz here is family cuz here i will make it
Thursday, September 1, 2011
glowing lights
glowing lights came to me last night
shaping lovely patterns and some flickering wings
across a black background glowing colors started dancing
its been a tough ride
finally im home again with lights
ramadan never do i wanna leave u again
pleaese GOd dont let me go so far
i need to be around everything that reminds me of my ramadan
next time we will be together with my sisteers and mother
i wont just leave again in the best time to stay
glowing lights said so
shaping lovely patterns and some flickering wings
across a black background glowing colors started dancing
its been a tough ride
finally im home again with lights
ramadan never do i wanna leave u again
pleaese GOd dont let me go so far
i need to be around everything that reminds me of my ramadan
next time we will be together with my sisteers and mother
i wont just leave again in the best time to stay
glowing lights said so
Monday, August 29, 2011
little things
little things mean so much
things that might mean nothing to others means so much to us
The mad lovers
a scene might not get to them but to us it can traumatize us for a life time
flowers mean the world to us
words of love and compliments with details
taking your time with words
long gazes and eye contact
putting us first always
not bringing in other names
not even mentioning other creatures
thats how we are we are selfish with our lovers
we want it like the movies
we are ambitious
we cant just be happy like our mothers
we want more
we want to be part of the decision maing process
we want transparency
and equality
we want to be treated like we deserve the world and more
we want to be missed even if its one night
we want to be told so
we want to be like the lovers of the shakespeareian tales
we want the stars and the sky
and everything between the earth and the stars to feel like its ours
we want to be sacred
like nothing you have seen
like we are unique and our bodies are temples
we want to be looked at for a long time
and our efforts and hard work need to be acknoledged
we want to know that we are the true love and not just the settlement destination
we want to be your best friend
and your dream and your forever
we want to be protected by you like we deserve only the best scenario so long as you can give it
even if you lie about it
lie in favor of making us feel like goddesses of beauty
even if you have seen more beauty say that we are the only ones you have seen
even if your dying to take that call shut the phone
even if you mean nothing by complimenting others hold it in and keep the compliments to us alone
yes we are selfish lovers
and when we go mad cuz so many times we do hold us tight and say how much you love us and respect us and that in your life time you
have never loved so much
let your gaurd down
cry a little
get down on your knee and say you want to live forever with us
say we want to share each detail and plan
dont become the enemy
Be a mad lover
things that might mean nothing to others means so much to us
The mad lovers
a scene might not get to them but to us it can traumatize us for a life time
flowers mean the world to us
words of love and compliments with details
taking your time with words
long gazes and eye contact
putting us first always
not bringing in other names
not even mentioning other creatures
thats how we are we are selfish with our lovers
we want it like the movies
we are ambitious
we cant just be happy like our mothers
we want more
we want to be part of the decision maing process
we want transparency
and equality
we want to be treated like we deserve the world and more
we want to be missed even if its one night
we want to be told so
we want to be like the lovers of the shakespeareian tales
we want the stars and the sky
and everything between the earth and the stars to feel like its ours
we want to be sacred
like nothing you have seen
like we are unique and our bodies are temples
we want to be looked at for a long time
and our efforts and hard work need to be acknoledged
we want to know that we are the true love and not just the settlement destination
we want to be your best friend
and your dream and your forever
we want to be protected by you like we deserve only the best scenario so long as you can give it
even if you lie about it
lie in favor of making us feel like goddesses of beauty
even if you have seen more beauty say that we are the only ones you have seen
even if your dying to take that call shut the phone
even if you mean nothing by complimenting others hold it in and keep the compliments to us alone
yes we are selfish lovers
and when we go mad cuz so many times we do hold us tight and say how much you love us and respect us and that in your life time you
have never loved so much
let your gaurd down
cry a little
get down on your knee and say you want to live forever with us
say we want to share each detail and plan
dont become the enemy
Be a mad lover
Sunday, August 28, 2011
a culture of sadness
i turn on the egyptian channel
yet i am in california
and oh my God
the soap opera
the mother is crying holding her daughter
saying words that could not be translated in english
our culture in egypt is so sad
sadness is just our way and the common ground
yes there is humor
but the overriding feeling is sadness
sadness is a culture in egypt
even after the joy of the revolution all i could do was cry for the martyrs
in california people are not afraid to say they are happy
maybe its because they really are
the government makes sure most of them are
they can walk around
they have pavements
sidewalks
they have trees
they have parks around every neighborhood so the people can enjoy
they have rights
they feel like human beings like they are worthy
and at the coffee house the stranger opens the door for me and gives me his place in line
he says you go first
i thought everything was a struggle and here everyone is being nice
a new movement here started by a local called daymaking
which is an attempt to make a strangers day and do something nice for no rewards other than a desire in a better world
so its like paying it forward everyone is trying to make everyone else's day
walking down the street i am greeted by nice people who wish me a great day
in egypt the beggars only wish me stuff and they want money
they say may God keep you
i once told a beggar but i don't wanna just be around, pray something better like God bless you or wish me happiness or anything who says i wanna just be around forever
here in california
in the street
there are
smiling people
full of hope
and its a happy culture
back home we are mostly sad
traffic can steal any joy out of us
everyone is out there to share the misery
we have even grown closer in misery
because we have it as a common feeling
and we have no idea what is next
our government is capable of screwing us over to the limit that we can not imagine
we have zero trust
we are traumatized
we took our lives into our own hands
we are so happy when we see a policeman
we wanna dance in joy that they decided to work again
when we travel we always say what a clean place
because it not that clean in our street
but cleanliness is like a given everywhere else
and then again i look around and i feel the joy of the people here
yes many have gone mad and walk around yelling stuff but the majority are happy motivated and hopeful
the egyptians are like orphans
the government has abandoned them so those of them who can went and tried to get adopted by those who value their children
canada and america
everyone wants dual citizenships
because another passport gives you more humanity
your price goes up
until the revolution came along and now saying im egyptian here in california tastes so much better
thanks to tahrir square we have a better name here and everywhere
but what exactly is going on back home i dont know
all i know is that i wanna say im egyptian here and it feels way better than saying it last year
but our culture is a sad one and it might be an eastern thing that the tears flood like waterfalls
my people have seen so much injustice and pain and neglect its only normal to be so sad
even if you are rich having poor and sick people around you will depress you
having so much ignorance and sickness and poverty around you is bound to get you down
we are stuck with so much love to our land
love that hurts
love that makes us sad
love that makes us come back
they say build and we will
but its the sadness that will take so much time to erase and the trust that will take ages to build
and the people who need new bodies new skins new minds to start fresh and to forget the ways they have been treated
we take everything into our hands
because we have zero faith in our government
we keep trying to live in a place that is just perfect for dying
but there is hope and life will go on
maybe its an arabian thing to carry sadness within
ours is a culture of sadness
Saturday, August 27, 2011
Harem
No we are not the maids you hired
Neither are we the prostitutes you ordered
No we are not second class
No I will not walk after you
No I will not be silent when I can speak for myself
No I am not less just because im a woman
No I am not less just because I am young
No I will not be an object of desire
No I will not be weaker
No I will not play dumb
I will shine because my light is on
No I will not dim it so I don't make anyone feel uncomfortable
Yes I am strong I have lived before I was even fine
I don't need to be under your rule
My job is not to look pretty and obey
My job is not just to be a good girl
No you do not own me
You are not the boss of me
And I refuse to be treated like a second class citizen
because of my age sex or color
My accent is beautiful I don't néed to change it
I will speak whatever language I feel like speaking
I will sing in English Arabic and Italian
I will blog I will paint I will walk and I know where I am going
I will be brave because I owe it to my daughter
I brought her into the world so she can see a strong role model not a disappearing shado
No I will not become a clone
No I will not mold my self to fit in
I'm Pretty much whole the way I am
I love how I am and I won't transform into a half to fit the puzzle
No I'm not just a goodgirl who does not make trouble
We are not babies
We carry them
We are not objects
We are capable just like you
We are smart and sometimes even more spiritual and sensitive
We are capable of multitasking
And putting ourselves in The shoes of others
No I will not nod and be quiet
No I won't walk behind you and follow
I am whole I am great because I am an EGyptian womAn
The harem is not my place nature is my mother and I am a child of God
And for that I am beautiful and proud I will stand up straight and my head will be high because I am not ashamed of my sex my race or my religion
Shahrazad
Neither are we the prostitutes you ordered
No we are not second class
No I will not walk after you
No I will not be silent when I can speak for myself
No I am not less just because im a woman
No I am not less just because I am young
No I will not be an object of desire
No I will not be weaker
No I will not play dumb
I will shine because my light is on
No I will not dim it so I don't make anyone feel uncomfortable
Yes I am strong I have lived before I was even fine
I don't need to be under your rule
My job is not to look pretty and obey
My job is not just to be a good girl
No you do not own me
You are not the boss of me
And I refuse to be treated like a second class citizen
because of my age sex or color
My accent is beautiful I don't néed to change it
I will speak whatever language I feel like speaking
I will sing in English Arabic and Italian
I will blog I will paint I will walk and I know where I am going
I will be brave because I owe it to my daughter
I brought her into the world so she can see a strong role model not a disappearing shado
No I will not become a clone
No I will not mold my self to fit in
I'm Pretty much whole the way I am
I love how I am and I won't transform into a half to fit the puzzle
No I'm not just a goodgirl who does not make trouble
We are not babies
We carry them
We are not objects
We are capable just like you
We are smart and sometimes even more spiritual and sensitive
We are capable of multitasking
And putting ourselves in The shoes of others
No I will not nod and be quiet
No I won't walk behind you and follow
I am whole I am great because I am an EGyptian womAn
The harem is not my place nature is my mother and I am a child of God
And for that I am beautiful and proud I will stand up straight and my head will be high because I am not ashamed of my sex my race or my religion
Shahrazad
Friday, August 26, 2011
apple heaven
steve jobbs is all over the news
the reason the apple name is golden and this company is so great
is that its not about making money only
apple is so much more than just a company or brand
today i am in palo alto california and i am in the same city that steve jobbs lives in
i saw his house its close to where i am staying
its big and wonderful but its also humble down to earth and it blends in with nature
its nothing showy or too fancy
a man who can build a golden palace and rub it in all our faces knows life is not about showing off ur wealth
but rather living in the place that makes you comfortable and happy don't get me wrong it is beautiful and big but it is reasonable and lovely too
today my apple phone died on me so i went in the amazing apple store
a store that is beaming with light full of life
full of young and old people who all wanna be part of the apple revolution
apple is not just a smart brand its artistic its free it symbolizes all the things i believe in
i was stranded in the store: no phone, no car and no idea how to reach my husband
the apple genius and thats what the people who work there to help you understand the apple products more
showed me where the phones are
and i looked to my right i found a table with apple phones being charged and so inviting they all stand shiny and new
i asked the genius: but these phones are not for everyones use are they?
he said yes they are
i asked him: is it for free?
he said yes
now i started getting greedy as i thought of all the international calls i have been making
so you can even make international calls?
he laughed and said yes
i was shocked and i asked and its also for free?
he said yes as he took my i phone to fix it
i stood there amazed for a few seconds and i looked around the store
and i understood what all the fuss is about
its abundance
apple is being so kind so inviting
you can use the internet you can use facebook you can check your mail you can play games you can
make calls you can enjoy apple at the store and you are surrounded by so many people who are willing to help you understand apple better
the phone could not be fixed so the man just gave me a new one
without even telling me he will
like its so easy to be generous
i was so happy
it was like i was in apple heaven
i looked behind him and i saw a homeless lady come in
with white hair so long and tangled it touched the floor
with a hunch back
with so many bags
she looked exactly like the which in snow white
even she felt welcomed
she put her bags under the desk and started using the computer
i recognized her she lives on university avenue
for me it was unbelievable how nobody even looked at her
not even a glance
not the employees not the customers
she stayed there
i left and thanked the apple geniuses
and i booked an appointment to learn how to create a website
to use the garageband
and the i videos too
the place is always busy
the apple store is like apple heaven
next time i go i will call my mother in egypt
its apple heaven and everything is possible
i wish steve jobbs health because the world needs him around
he is such a great inspiration
a modern day hero
"stay hungry,stay foolish" steve jobbs
the reason the apple name is golden and this company is so great
is that its not about making money only
apple is so much more than just a company or brand
today i am in palo alto california and i am in the same city that steve jobbs lives in
i saw his house its close to where i am staying
its big and wonderful but its also humble down to earth and it blends in with nature
its nothing showy or too fancy
a man who can build a golden palace and rub it in all our faces knows life is not about showing off ur wealth
but rather living in the place that makes you comfortable and happy don't get me wrong it is beautiful and big but it is reasonable and lovely too
today my apple phone died on me so i went in the amazing apple store
a store that is beaming with light full of life
full of young and old people who all wanna be part of the apple revolution
apple is not just a smart brand its artistic its free it symbolizes all the things i believe in
i was stranded in the store: no phone, no car and no idea how to reach my husband
the apple genius and thats what the people who work there to help you understand the apple products more
showed me where the phones are
and i looked to my right i found a table with apple phones being charged and so inviting they all stand shiny and new
i asked the genius: but these phones are not for everyones use are they?
he said yes they are
i asked him: is it for free?
he said yes
now i started getting greedy as i thought of all the international calls i have been making
so you can even make international calls?
he laughed and said yes
i was shocked and i asked and its also for free?
he said yes as he took my i phone to fix it
i stood there amazed for a few seconds and i looked around the store
and i understood what all the fuss is about
its abundance
apple is being so kind so inviting
you can use the internet you can use facebook you can check your mail you can play games you can
make calls you can enjoy apple at the store and you are surrounded by so many people who are willing to help you understand apple better
the phone could not be fixed so the man just gave me a new one
without even telling me he will
like its so easy to be generous
i was so happy
it was like i was in apple heaven
i looked behind him and i saw a homeless lady come in
with white hair so long and tangled it touched the floor
with a hunch back
with so many bags
she looked exactly like the which in snow white
even she felt welcomed
she put her bags under the desk and started using the computer
i recognized her she lives on university avenue
for me it was unbelievable how nobody even looked at her
not even a glance
not the employees not the customers
she stayed there
i left and thanked the apple geniuses
and i booked an appointment to learn how to create a website
to use the garageband
and the i videos too
the place is always busy
the apple store is like apple heaven
next time i go i will call my mother in egypt
its apple heaven and everything is possible
i wish steve jobbs health because the world needs him around
he is such a great inspiration
a modern day hero
"stay hungry,stay foolish" steve jobbs
Thursday, August 25, 2011
fighting to stay
it feels like im fighting for my life
my desire to stay here
to breath good air
to be safe
for basic needs to be met
for higher potential to be fulfilled
my soul is happy here
finally im free
im fighting for my life
for the right to walk
it feels like dying
thinking of going back
no i do not want to go back to sitting around on my ass all day
no i do not want to be stuck in traffic just to see my mother
no i do not want help
no i do not want to be the madam
to order maids and have so many middle men
although its a blessing
it is also a curse
i can not be the boss of them
i can only be the boss of me
the barriers i should keep
the boundaries i should keep
the proffesionalism is hard for me
since i can only be myself
i can only be a friend
i can not build walls around my self
i want to walk in nature
i want to stay
and have a place for my baby to play
for me to lay
i want to stay
dear egypt i love u
but no i do not miss you
oh God let me stay
i know i was meant to stay
now is my time
let me live
i will fight for staying
like one fights for their right to live
because to me here is life
and im finally feeling alive
my desire to stay here
to breath good air
to be safe
for basic needs to be met
for higher potential to be fulfilled
my soul is happy here
finally im free
im fighting for my life
for the right to walk
it feels like dying
thinking of going back
no i do not want to go back to sitting around on my ass all day
no i do not want to be stuck in traffic just to see my mother
no i do not want help
no i do not want to be the madam
to order maids and have so many middle men
although its a blessing
it is also a curse
i can not be the boss of them
i can only be the boss of me
the barriers i should keep
the boundaries i should keep
the proffesionalism is hard for me
since i can only be myself
i can only be a friend
i can not build walls around my self
i want to walk in nature
i want to stay
and have a place for my baby to play
for me to lay
i want to stay
dear egypt i love u
but no i do not miss you
oh God let me stay
i know i was meant to stay
now is my time
let me live
i will fight for staying
like one fights for their right to live
because to me here is life
and im finally feeling alive
Wednesday, August 24, 2011
I believe in angels
I believe Palestine and isreal should move on kiss n make up and live as friends like they did before in Jerusalem I believe in love 4 land but I think the whole border idea is an illusion created by those who trade weapons! wars are all a work of the weapon industry the people of the world are all fooled into ideas of borders differences hate race and sex while the truth is we are all one and the earth is our home the divine created us equal I believe that angels come once called upon I believe that we are all familiar and that the fastest way to connect with people is to laugh n dance with them
Sunday, August 21, 2011
now that i can breath they say i have to leave
just when i found my place in the world
just when i feel like im finally home
where i can fit
although my heart aches with love to my land
but here im free and i want to stay
i just started breathing and now he speaks of leaving
i just started to live and they say i must go back
i just found my freedom but they said i must come back
although i feel my destiny telling me this is the place for me
im even more beautiful here
i have a place to walk right here
i have a place in the world in here
i do not have to be scared of my own government
i do not have to fear thugs coming my way in here.
here i know that the police will protect me and my baby
here i know that i can speak my mind and not worry about being arrested
here its not weird to say hi to strangers because no one is a stranger
here it is not a fault to be friendly
here i ate with the muslims the christians and the jews
here everyone is my friend
here there is grass and sun
here the trees talk to me and i want to hug each tree
and kiss the ground and thank God for creating such beauty
here they have empowered me
gave me rights and i can breath
here i can be myself and i fit in with those who are fre
here i can dance in the street and take care of my self
here i can sing outloud
here i can be free
here i paint
here i do yoga
here i walk miles of independence
i love egypt but it seems to me like it is the place i wanna die in not live in
the stress level might not be getting to my friends but to me i confess i have been traumatized
since the nights where the police decided its ok to let the prisoners out
when they decided the people of egypt need to learn their lesson for speaking their minds and they cut the phone lines and internet
you might be stronger than me but i cant live like that
every day a new scary story on the local news
of people being kidnapped
and our neighbors in syria and libya being killed one after another
the days of hitler are back
the world sands still
innocent people are killed
and the selfish coward that i am does not want to go back
yes i want to be an atlantic away from all that scares me
yes i want to be where a government is well established
where the people can speak their minds
where having help is not the norm
where democracy is practiced
where the police protects the people and does not terrorize them
where my baby can play
where my baby can eat good food and breath good air
where nobody judges me all the time and interferes with my lif
my time is now
let me live
When I die i wanna say i have lived
as opposed to stayed home on the sofa all day
as opposed to just pleased all the people i should please all the time
those people have lived
let me live too
i want to be happy as opposed to terrified all the time
i want to walk the streets as opposed to cough from everyones cigerette in my face
i want to be free
let me
give me a chance
you owe it to me
if you want to see me die slowly every single day
take me back to the tomb called my land
yes i love it to death but to me it means death
now that i can breath they say i have to leave
just when i started to shine they want to take me away back to the dark
where i dry out like a dried dead flower
let me find my way
let me stay
for Gods sake let me stay
let me live
freedom is my right
just when i feel like im finally home
where i can fit
although my heart aches with love to my land
but here im free and i want to stay
i just started breathing and now he speaks of leaving
i just started to live and they say i must go back
i just found my freedom but they said i must come back
although i feel my destiny telling me this is the place for me
im even more beautiful here
i have a place to walk right here
i have a place in the world in here
i do not have to be scared of my own government
i do not have to fear thugs coming my way in here.
here i know that the police will protect me and my baby
here i know that i can speak my mind and not worry about being arrested
here its not weird to say hi to strangers because no one is a stranger
here it is not a fault to be friendly
here i ate with the muslims the christians and the jews
here everyone is my friend
here there is grass and sun
here the trees talk to me and i want to hug each tree
and kiss the ground and thank God for creating such beauty
here they have empowered me
gave me rights and i can breath
here i can be myself and i fit in with those who are fre
here i can dance in the street and take care of my self
here i can sing outloud
here i can be free
here i paint
here i do yoga
here i walk miles of independence
i love egypt but it seems to me like it is the place i wanna die in not live in
the stress level might not be getting to my friends but to me i confess i have been traumatized
since the nights where the police decided its ok to let the prisoners out
when they decided the people of egypt need to learn their lesson for speaking their minds and they cut the phone lines and internet
you might be stronger than me but i cant live like that
every day a new scary story on the local news
of people being kidnapped
and our neighbors in syria and libya being killed one after another
the days of hitler are back
the world sands still
innocent people are killed
and the selfish coward that i am does not want to go back
yes i want to be an atlantic away from all that scares me
yes i want to be where a government is well established
where the people can speak their minds
where having help is not the norm
where democracy is practiced
where the police protects the people and does not terrorize them
where my baby can play
where my baby can eat good food and breath good air
where nobody judges me all the time and interferes with my lif
my time is now
let me live
When I die i wanna say i have lived
as opposed to stayed home on the sofa all day
as opposed to just pleased all the people i should please all the time
those people have lived
let me live too
i want to be happy as opposed to terrified all the time
i want to walk the streets as opposed to cough from everyones cigerette in my face
i want to be free
let me
give me a chance
you owe it to me
if you want to see me die slowly every single day
take me back to the tomb called my land
yes i love it to death but to me it means death
now that i can breath they say i have to leave
just when i started to shine they want to take me away back to the dark
where i dry out like a dried dead flower
let me find my way
let me stay
for Gods sake let me stay
let me live
freedom is my right
Friday, August 19, 2011
artists
you see i dont mean to be mean
or to be self involved
to be an artist i must
or else what would i paint about
things we feel on the sphere of artists and more spirtiual people
and when i say spiritual i mean it
are far more intense
so subtle hatred can be felt because the radar is so sensitive in here
love is well appreciated
neglect is not tolerated
hitlar fans are not welcomed
the german way and no offense to the germans
but the typical german way of law and order is just not possible for us
music and authenticity are welcomed
real people and real emotions are embraced
and nature is deeply apppreciated
love for artists and i speak about my self and my fellow artist is sacred
if love is practical and treated like a routine job it is not needed
loyalty is to extremes a
artists see the chemistry that is willing to spark between the two sexes
artists are on another frequency
dancers
singers
musicans
painters
i realize there are those artists who are cold speak very little and are extremely practical
but im talking about the artist that lives an artistic life
that treats each moment with sacredness
and yes they suffer more
and yes they enjoy more
but artists hurt deeper and feel more to their cores
food is art
love is art
every relationship is a dance and motherhood is a heavenly bond
God is in everything
Sufis too
they live in a trance
its hard to be from that world and deal with people floating in a realistic blaze frequency
their words will hurt
their dos will hurt
their ways will hurt
they will not understand your tears
they will not comprehend your need to connect wit the devine
they will not comprehend the measures to take for love
or the deep need fr independence and complete freedom that you have
they will not understand your interest in people of all cultures and your need to help them
they will not understand how much it affects you when you are surrounded by a negative vibe
or a controller
or someone who wants to mold you into the ordinary
i am nothing
for i came from dust
yet i am everything because inside me is the breath of God
and i am form him
therefore i am great and im worth saving
i am worth being happy and i am worth doing what i feel like doing as long as i do not hurt another being
i cant live with sadness arrogance insensitivity and tyrants
i cant live without my freedom and my rights to love till the end
whats mine is mine whats yours is yours
im from God
just like the birds in the sky
like the tree and the skies
have you seen a bird who has been trying to crawl?
she knows she was meant to fly
she will not be happy crawling
thats why i fly because i can
because i have to
because im an artist and im proud
no apologies
from tousa with love
or to be self involved
to be an artist i must
or else what would i paint about
things we feel on the sphere of artists and more spirtiual people
and when i say spiritual i mean it
are far more intense
so subtle hatred can be felt because the radar is so sensitive in here
love is well appreciated
neglect is not tolerated
hitlar fans are not welcomed
the german way and no offense to the germans
but the typical german way of law and order is just not possible for us
music and authenticity are welcomed
real people and real emotions are embraced
and nature is deeply apppreciated
love for artists and i speak about my self and my fellow artist is sacred
if love is practical and treated like a routine job it is not needed
loyalty is to extremes a
artists see the chemistry that is willing to spark between the two sexes
artists are on another frequency
dancers
singers
musicans
painters
i realize there are those artists who are cold speak very little and are extremely practical
but im talking about the artist that lives an artistic life
that treats each moment with sacredness
and yes they suffer more
and yes they enjoy more
but artists hurt deeper and feel more to their cores
food is art
love is art
every relationship is a dance and motherhood is a heavenly bond
God is in everything
Sufis too
they live in a trance
its hard to be from that world and deal with people floating in a realistic blaze frequency
their words will hurt
their dos will hurt
their ways will hurt
they will not understand your tears
they will not comprehend your need to connect wit the devine
they will not comprehend the measures to take for love
or the deep need fr independence and complete freedom that you have
they will not understand your interest in people of all cultures and your need to help them
they will not understand how much it affects you when you are surrounded by a negative vibe
or a controller
or someone who wants to mold you into the ordinary
i am nothing
for i came from dust
yet i am everything because inside me is the breath of God
and i am form him
therefore i am great and im worth saving
i am worth being happy and i am worth doing what i feel like doing as long as i do not hurt another being
i cant live with sadness arrogance insensitivity and tyrants
i cant live without my freedom and my rights to love till the end
whats mine is mine whats yours is yours
im from God
just like the birds in the sky
like the tree and the skies
have you seen a bird who has been trying to crawl?
she knows she was meant to fly
she will not be happy crawling
thats why i fly because i can
because i have to
because im an artist and im proud
no apologies
from tousa with love
She said
She said I had reasons to cry
That my sadness was not insanity after all
She said my instincts were right
She said I won't end up like my ancestors
She said I should not shut my mind
She said my baby girl will be strong
God sent her when I had no one
She was there for support
She was the only one who said I'm right
And boy how i needed to hear that
She said all the things that made my heart rest
She said it all and I went home thankful for my sanity
And that she supported me when everyone else doubted me
She said I have rights
That my sadness was not insanity after all
She said my instincts were right
She said I won't end up like my ancestors
She said I should not shut my mind
She said my baby girl will be strong
God sent her when I had no one
She was there for support
She was the only one who said I'm right
And boy how i needed to hear that
She said all the things that made my heart rest
She said it all and I went home thankful for my sanity
And that she supported me when everyone else doubted me
She said I have rights
Thursday, August 18, 2011
Sun salutation
We were supposed to be dripping with love and romance
The sun kisses my soul and makes it feel ok
Remembrance and surrender are my only way
If these feelings are demons I must still accept myself and love myself
Seeing such beautiful trees makes me feel home
God is not only in Egypt he is everywhere
All I want is to walk and love and dance
All I Want is freedom and respect
All I want is to worship and to lay on the grass
All I want is to love till the end not half way
The sun kisses my soul and makes it feel ok
Remembrance and surrender are my only way
If these feelings are demons I must still accept myself and love myself
Seeing such beautiful trees makes me feel home
God is not only in Egypt he is everywhere
All I want is to walk and love and dance
All I Want is freedom and respect
All I want is to worship and to lay on the grass
All I want is to love till the end not half way
Monday, August 15, 2011
Shahrazad will fly
Let me fly that's what I was born to do
Let me fly I can't live in a cage anymore
Let me fly I need to flap my wings and roam so high
Let me fly I can not be an extra anymore
Let my light shine take away all the shades
and let me shine even if your eyes can't handle it
Let me run free and then I can fly
Let me fly and when I fly I will fly so high
Let me dream and don't laugh at my dreams they mean a lot to me
Let me cry my tears fall down easily and I'm proud
Don't make me apologize for who I am
Don't take away my accent and don't take away my roots
Let me touch the stars I know I can
Don't cut my wings just because you can
Give me a chance if GOd gave you that power
I need to blossom
It's my time not theirs
They have lived Before and it's my first time
Let me fly if I don't fly I die
And I'm too young to die
Let me taste this sky I feel an angel on my shoulder telling me soon I will fly
Let me fly I can't live in a cage anymore
Let me fly I need to flap my wings and roam so high
Let me fly I can not be an extra anymore
Let my light shine take away all the shades
and let me shine even if your eyes can't handle it
Let me run free and then I can fly
Let me fly and when I fly I will fly so high
Let me dream and don't laugh at my dreams they mean a lot to me
Let me cry my tears fall down easily and I'm proud
Don't make me apologize for who I am
Don't take away my accent and don't take away my roots
Let me touch the stars I know I can
Don't cut my wings just because you can
Give me a chance if GOd gave you that power
I need to blossom
It's my time not theirs
They have lived Before and it's my first time
Let me fly if I don't fly I die
And I'm too young to die
Let me taste this sky I feel an angel on my shoulder telling me soon I will fly
Thursday, August 11, 2011
Shahrazad rebels
No I wont obey and apologize for things I believe are my rights
The women of EGypt have suffered much
The women of EGypt have said too little
No I won't be silent again
No you can not treat me like a child
No I won't be just an object
Yes I will die on that hill
No I won't just take the drugs to silent my mind
No you can't cut my wings
No I won't sit there and wait
Until you come and make things right
No I won't be dragged around
No I won't be treated like I'm less
No I won't just cry in the backround while you blossom
No I do not have to blend with the background
No I do not have to be silent just because I'm a woman
Yes I can speak my mind.
Yes I can take care of my self and my baby
Just like I carried her for nine months I can also make decisions
Yes I have rights of information
Because I'm not a little girl you can lead
I will die on that hill
I will not wait for death and the castles in heaven
I can be happy here today if only you give me a chance
To live my own life not the life they think is appropriate
To make my own choices.
To have my sovereignty so I can blossom.
Today I'm not the same anymore because the world is changing and I won't allow them to treat me like my aunt my mother and my grandmother were treated.
I will die on that hill
Shahrazad rebels
The women of EGypt have suffered much
The women of EGypt have said too little
No I won't be silent again
No you can not treat me like a child
No I won't be just an object
Yes I will die on that hill
No I won't just take the drugs to silent my mind
No you can't cut my wings
No I won't sit there and wait
Until you come and make things right
No I won't be dragged around
No I won't be treated like I'm less
No I won't just cry in the backround while you blossom
No I do not have to blend with the background
No I do not have to be silent just because I'm a woman
Yes I can speak my mind.
Yes I can take care of my self and my baby
Just like I carried her for nine months I can also make decisions
Yes I have rights of information
Because I'm not a little girl you can lead
I will die on that hill
I will not wait for death and the castles in heaven
I can be happy here today if only you give me a chance
To live my own life not the life they think is appropriate
To make my own choices.
To have my sovereignty so I can blossom.
Today I'm not the same anymore because the world is changing and I won't allow them to treat me like my aunt my mother and my grandmother were treated.
I will die on that hill
Shahrazad rebels
Wednesday, August 10, 2011
It's nice
It's Nice to be able to walk with your baby and to know that all the other cars will protect you not run you over
it's good to be in a country where the police genuinely protect the people where the ambulance actually saves people and is there when needed
where women are not second class citizens
where you can speak your mind and not worry about being arrested
where taking care of your child without having a live in nanny is normal and You won't be judged for actually taking care of your own kid
where you can do things yourself and the food you eat you can trust and tap water is not cancerous but actually good for your teeth and better than bottled water
it's nice to be treated like a human being and thanks to tahrir square it's nice to say ur Egyptian in a country like California
it's good to be in a country where the police genuinely protect the people where the ambulance actually saves people and is there when needed
where women are not second class citizens
where you can speak your mind and not worry about being arrested
where taking care of your child without having a live in nanny is normal and You won't be judged for actually taking care of your own kid
where you can do things yourself and the food you eat you can trust and tap water is not cancerous but actually good for your teeth and better than bottled water
it's nice to be treated like a human being and thanks to tahrir square it's nice to say ur Egyptian in a country like California
Sovereignty
Sovereignty a word I learned lately here in California.
Turns out it's what I need to be happy and free.
Turns out it's what I need to be happy and free.
Sunday, August 7, 2011
Mubaraks trial
First I was sad for some odd reason to see my x president in a cage
Then I saw his dyed hair
The nose picking
The bed
And I realized it's not that he is on trial
It's that he is in a cage ,on a bed
Too dramatic
Too humiliating
And manipulative for the naive public that is me
My imagination went to this:
X president: so what do they want now?
Y: they wanna see you on trial behind bars
X: is it not enough all we have done
Y:this is what it will take for them to calm down
X:after all I have done for them
Y: they have been possessed by an evil power but don't worry we will protect you
X: I am a war hero for GODs sake
Y: we all know but the dogs won't stop barking until you are on trial and it's good for our global image
X: isn't it enough all the chaos that happened since I left don't they see why I held a tight grip on them,the islamists are out and they will take over, anyway I will do it for Egypt but I will be on my bed and I want my sons with me
Y: the bed is a great idea that will get the publics sympathy most people love you
X: I do not care anymore history will prove my innocence
Y:yes sir
And thats my humble scenario and I think the worst part of it is our judicial system putting people in cages during a trial instead of having
them seated like human beings in their own clothes until proven guilty
Then I saw his dyed hair
The nose picking
The bed
And I realized it's not that he is on trial
It's that he is in a cage ,on a bed
Too dramatic
Too humiliating
And manipulative for the naive public that is me
My imagination went to this:
X president: so what do they want now?
Y: they wanna see you on trial behind bars
X: is it not enough all we have done
Y:this is what it will take for them to calm down
X:after all I have done for them
Y: they have been possessed by an evil power but don't worry we will protect you
X: I am a war hero for GODs sake
Y: we all know but the dogs won't stop barking until you are on trial and it's good for our global image
X: isn't it enough all the chaos that happened since I left don't they see why I held a tight grip on them,the islamists are out and they will take over, anyway I will do it for Egypt but I will be on my bed and I want my sons with me
Y: the bed is a great idea that will get the publics sympathy most people love you
X: I do not care anymore history will prove my innocence
Y:yes sir
And thats my humble scenario and I think the worst part of it is our judicial system putting people in cages during a trial instead of having
them seated like human beings in their own clothes until proven guilty
Friday, July 29, 2011
Kids and words we say
It's amazing how kids remember what we say
it shapes them and forms them
We must be careful what kind of statements we say
They are learning 24 /7 from our hidden and obvious messages through our behavior and choices
It's one thing to tell them stuff but we do with our lives teaches them how they should live
They believe everything we say
They have faith in us
They believe in us
The way we punish them teaches them about life
And how they should act in distress
The way we love teaches them about relationships
The way we yell or teach them firmly teaches them about the ways they should act
When we smile they learn to smile
When we look in their eyes they feel worth while
And when they fall and we are scared they learn about fear
They are mirrors of their caregivers
And everything we say is part of their making and they remember it forever
Be careful what you tell children that's where they learn about life
it shapes them and forms them
We must be careful what kind of statements we say
They are learning 24 /7 from our hidden and obvious messages through our behavior and choices
It's one thing to tell them stuff but we do with our lives teaches them how they should live
They believe everything we say
They have faith in us
They believe in us
The way we punish them teaches them about life
And how they should act in distress
The way we love teaches them about relationships
The way we yell or teach them firmly teaches them about the ways they should act
When we smile they learn to smile
When we look in their eyes they feel worth while
And when they fall and we are scared they learn about fear
They are mirrors of their caregivers
And everything we say is part of their making and they remember it forever
Be careful what you tell children that's where they learn about life
Thursday, July 28, 2011
Ramadan I will miss you when I leave
Leaving my people when they need Me the most
Leaving my family in the holy month
Leaving my culture my tradition my religious rituals behind
And off to the land of freedom where there is Notrace of ramadan or the familiar faces
No tahrir square
No old regime
Where democracy is well established
Where freedom of speech is a practiced right
Leaving all the familiar and crossing the Atlantic to a place that's just perfect
But my heart is here where I'm needed the most here by the beach of my Egypt
Family duty calls a cross of the Atlantic trip but in a time when I'd rather stay and suffer with the ones I love
If I can chose between a clean life away from loved ones
Or a chaotic undemocratic unsafe one with my mother and on my mother land
I choose the messy life with my loved ones
Yes I complain and at times my heart almost stops from fear
But my heart is here where life started on my land with my people who suffered for ages
My heart is in this dirt and in this place where freedoms are burried
My heart is here where everyone is in your business and in Ramadan friends and family gather
My heart Is here where everyone knows my name at the store and in the coffee shop that we all need so much
My heart is here where I can't breath from pollution
My heart is here where I cant speak my mind and I might be arrested for blogging
My heart is here but I gotta go only for a month I guess! but im leaving at a time when I don't know how it will be when I return
Leaving my family in the holy month
Leaving my culture my tradition my religious rituals behind
And off to the land of freedom where there is Notrace of ramadan or the familiar faces
No tahrir square
No old regime
Where democracy is well established
Where freedom of speech is a practiced right
Leaving all the familiar and crossing the Atlantic to a place that's just perfect
But my heart is here where I'm needed the most here by the beach of my Egypt
Family duty calls a cross of the Atlantic trip but in a time when I'd rather stay and suffer with the ones I love
If I can chose between a clean life away from loved ones
Or a chaotic undemocratic unsafe one with my mother and on my mother land
I choose the messy life with my loved ones
Yes I complain and at times my heart almost stops from fear
But my heart is here where life started on my land with my people who suffered for ages
My heart is in this dirt and in this place where freedoms are burried
My heart is here where everyone is in your business and in Ramadan friends and family gather
My heart Is here where everyone knows my name at the store and in the coffee shop that we all need so much
My heart is here where I can't breath from pollution
My heart is here where I cant speak my mind and I might be arrested for blogging
My heart is here but I gotta go only for a month I guess! but im leaving at a time when I don't know how it will be when I return
Tuesday, July 26, 2011
عزبة خيرالله neglected slums behind maadi raise awareness raise money
Tousa Mia t shirt brand profits go to the initiative starting today pls donate money or buy a funky tshirt and help the forgotten people of Egypt tousa mia t shirts are handmade hand painted one of a kind and perfect for the beach and yoga comfy and hippy like only for free people
Tousa Mia t shirt brand profits go to the initiative starting today pls donate money or buy a funky tshirt and help the forgotten people of Egypt tousa mia t shirts are handmade hand painted one of a kind and perfect for the beach and yoga comfy and hippy like only for free people
Monday, July 25, 2011
When the lights go off
When the lights go off and its pitch black
I was afraid I was paralyzed
I wanted to get up and move to scream for help
But fear made me stay in the box like bed
And I felt like I was dead
Worst thing about the feeling of death is not being able to communicate
With those you love
Like that day in Cairo when the mobile services were stopped
And the Internet was also stopped by the gov the evil old regime
It was like a mini death we could not reach those we love or speak our mind or use the Internet
Last night I was afraid of death of not being able to say what u wanna say to be stuck in a dark place
But I remembered GOd and I started saying some prayers and it made my heart happy
Remembrance always helps me
الا بذكر الله تطمان القلوب
I was afraid I was paralyzed
I wanted to get up and move to scream for help
But fear made me stay in the box like bed
And I felt like I was dead
Worst thing about the feeling of death is not being able to communicate
With those you love
Like that day in Cairo when the mobile services were stopped
And the Internet was also stopped by the gov the evil old regime
It was like a mini death we could not reach those we love or speak our mind or use the Internet
Last night I was afraid of death of not being able to say what u wanna say to be stuck in a dark place
But I remembered GOd and I started saying some prayers and it made my heart happy
Remembrance always helps me
الا بذكر الله تطمان القلوب
Sunday, July 24, 2011
its not spoiling its attachment parenting
Attachment parenting:
a phrase coined by pediatrician William Sears,[1] is a parenting philosophy based on the principles of the attachment theory in developmental psychology. According to attachment theory, the child forms a strong emotional bond with caregivers during childhood with lifelong consequences. Sensitive and emotionally available parenting helps the child to form a secure attachment style which fosters a child's socio-emotional development and well being. Less sensitive and emotionally available parenting or neglect of the child's needs may result in insecure forms of attachment style, which is a risk factor for many mental health problems. In extreme and rare conditions the child may not form an attachment at all and may suffer from reactive attachment disorder as defined in DSM-IV and ICD-10. Principles of attachment parenting aim to increase development of child's secure attachment and decrease insecure attachment.
a phrase coined by pediatrician William Sears,[1] is a parenting philosophy based on the principles of the attachment theory in developmental psychology. According to attachment theory, the child forms a strong emotional bond with caregivers during childhood with lifelong consequences. Sensitive and emotionally available parenting helps the child to form a secure attachment style which fosters a child's socio-emotional development and well being. Less sensitive and emotionally available parenting or neglect of the child's needs may result in insecure forms of attachment style, which is a risk factor for many mental health problems. In extreme and rare conditions the child may not form an attachment at all and may suffer from reactive attachment disorder as defined in DSM-IV and ICD-10. Principles of attachment parenting aim to increase development of child's secure attachment and decrease insecure attachment.
revolution mom
cetain things must be clear
it is not appreciated that all the passers by decide that i need their advice about parenting
and i did not ask to hear about their story of how they had everything perfect and i should learn
no i wont spoil my baby if i carry her all the time because i think babies cant be spoiled and they need to be held
holding a baby is not wrong a sin or weird especially if the baby is yours
there is nothing wrong with taking care of your own baby
in our crazy culture it is the norm that the nanny does everything and the mom sits and relaxes
after a time of national stress where we had zero security i think it is legitimate that you hold those you love as much as you want especially if they are tiny and helpless, especially if you worked so hard to get them
why is it anybodys buisness if you wanna love your baby, sleep with your baby, hold your baby, or take care of your baby
its not like you are hurting anyone
its called love
is love weird now in Egypt ?
people give me looks cuz i take her on errands on her sling they say her place is home with her nanny
i disagree and i think im free to be as loving and as attached as i want
when it comes to babies everyone is an expert
a new mom has to smile and nod
and say i will consider that thanks
but me no i wont
because its revolution time and we can be free and speak our minds
revolution mom
it is not appreciated that all the passers by decide that i need their advice about parenting
and i did not ask to hear about their story of how they had everything perfect and i should learn
no i wont spoil my baby if i carry her all the time because i think babies cant be spoiled and they need to be held
holding a baby is not wrong a sin or weird especially if the baby is yours
there is nothing wrong with taking care of your own baby
in our crazy culture it is the norm that the nanny does everything and the mom sits and relaxes
after a time of national stress where we had zero security i think it is legitimate that you hold those you love as much as you want especially if they are tiny and helpless, especially if you worked so hard to get them
why is it anybodys buisness if you wanna love your baby, sleep with your baby, hold your baby, or take care of your baby
its not like you are hurting anyone
its called love
is love weird now in Egypt ?
people give me looks cuz i take her on errands on her sling they say her place is home with her nanny
i disagree and i think im free to be as loving and as attached as i want
when it comes to babies everyone is an expert
a new mom has to smile and nod
and say i will consider that thanks
but me no i wont
because its revolution time and we can be free and speak our minds
revolution mom
Saturday, July 23, 2011
حلبنتيشي :ازاي ً أعيش فيكي
حبك صعب عليا
ازاي اقدر ارتاح فيكي لما الفساد مليكي
ازاي أعيش فيكي لما الناس اللي بيحموكي
و بيحموني همه الليي بعوكي و بعوني
اقل حق من حقوقي أني أنام في أمان
حكم ألغابه صعب يكمل
ربنا مش حيسيب حقنا
لما يكون في طغيان يطبش بهم و سعتها كله حيبان
اصحاب الحق في الميدان و اناجبان باكل و بنام
همه فكرين ان بجد في امل الدنيا تنظف بجد
بس الفللولي
عجباه كده عايز يعديها و يطنش
عايز يكمل علي اي كلام مش عايزها بجد تنظف
خائف جبان
بس أصحابنا في الميدان احلمهم اكبر
أنا جبانه و مروحتش بس بحترمهم
خلي الفللولي يقول خربوها اهل الميدان
اصلوا مش عارف مين اللي بيببني و مين اللي بيخرب
ازاي اقدر ارتاح فيكي لما الفساد مليكي
ازاي أعيش فيكي لما الناس اللي بيحموكي
و بيحموني همه الليي بعوكي و بعوني
اقل حق من حقوقي أني أنام في أمان
حكم ألغابه صعب يكمل
ربنا مش حيسيب حقنا
لما يكون في طغيان يطبش بهم و سعتها كله حيبان
اصحاب الحق في الميدان و اناجبان باكل و بنام
همه فكرين ان بجد في امل الدنيا تنظف بجد
بس الفللولي
عجباه كده عايز يعديها و يطنش
عايز يكمل علي اي كلام مش عايزها بجد تنظف
خائف جبان
بس أصحابنا في الميدان احلمهم اكبر
أنا جبانه و مروحتش بس بحترمهم
خلي الفللولي يقول خربوها اهل الميدان
اصلوا مش عارف مين اللي بيببني و مين اللي بيخرب
dont bail on me now
she came to me tonight and said the words i did not want to hear
thoughts of running away keep coming to my head
but she came and said dont bail on me now
dont bail on me when i need you the most
you can fix me
stay and fix me they dont need you there
dont bail on me when i need you the most
i thought of safety and how my baby needs it now
my mission now is not patriotic but rather motherly
i have to take care of a tiny person
she said but wht about me?
after all the years of abuse you will leave too?
i told her i am a coward who loves you to death but loves her baby more
im not giving up on you but loving you has become my heartache
leaving you is like leaving my heart behind i want to fix you but i have a tiny life to protect
im so sorry
im a coward who only hid and fled and left
and now that i am here i keep thinking of another life somewhere safer and more comfortable
somewhere where i can breath
but i will always love you and i will come to your beaches that is if i can make it and leave
your love is ripping me apart
she said if you all leave me now who will fiix me?
if all those who can make a difference leave who will fix me?
i cried in silence as she said dont bail on me now when i need you the most
she said her children died for her and i cant even live in her
i cried in fear and said i am so sorry i am a coward but i do love you
im a coward whether i leave or stay im not in the square
she said in the squRE or NOT DONT BAIL ON ME NOW
thoughts of running away keep coming to my head
but she came and said dont bail on me now
dont bail on me when i need you the most
you can fix me
stay and fix me they dont need you there
dont bail on me when i need you the most
i thought of safety and how my baby needs it now
my mission now is not patriotic but rather motherly
i have to take care of a tiny person
she said but wht about me?
after all the years of abuse you will leave too?
i told her i am a coward who loves you to death but loves her baby more
im not giving up on you but loving you has become my heartache
leaving you is like leaving my heart behind i want to fix you but i have a tiny life to protect
im so sorry
im a coward who only hid and fled and left
and now that i am here i keep thinking of another life somewhere safer and more comfortable
somewhere where i can breath
but i will always love you and i will come to your beaches that is if i can make it and leave
your love is ripping me apart
she said if you all leave me now who will fiix me?
if all those who can make a difference leave who will fix me?
i cried in silence as she said dont bail on me now when i need you the most
she said her children died for her and i cant even live in her
i cried in fear and said i am so sorry i am a coward but i do love you
im a coward whether i leave or stay im not in the square
she said in the squRE or NOT DONT BAIL ON ME NOW
Thursday, July 21, 2011
قصيدة اختي
يا حبيبي ترى ماذا تفعلون
أتحت التراب بعدكم ترقدون؟
أم في السماء احرار تحلقون ؟
أتسمع بكائي ودعائي أم نحن واهمون؟
جراحكم أمنها تنزفون ؟
رصاصهم أباقي في العيون؟
صرختكم، أبعدكم تهتفون؟
بلادكم، كيف عنها كنتم تائهون؟
يا حبيبي
ترثيك الامه
تنعيك الكلمه
تنفيك الكذبه
تحميك الدمعه
من النسيان
صبغت شوارع الميدان
بلون يأبى السلوان
شهدت أثار الانسان
أن من قتلك جبان
خلف السواد إستكان
بالقضاء والقصاص إستهان
يا حبيبي
أتنام وتنعم في حرير
أيصلك صوتي عبر الأثير
أترى دموعي كيف تسيل
أقسم لك بسم الام الامومه
بسم يتم الطفوله
بسم حق
أن من قتلك سيقتل و لو بعد حين
و إن أبكموا القضاء
واهدروا القصاص
واجهضوا الحماس
وأن ابدوا الناس
فلنا إلاه إسمه رب الناس
اللاه الناس
منتقم جبار
لا يرضى ظلم و لا جوار
يا حبيبي:
تسألني من قتلوك أبلذنب يشعرون؟
أم هم ذئاب بالدم يرتوون
للنوم كيف يخلدون
ولله كيف سيبعثون؟
يا حبيبي
تسألني عن هذا التأني السقيم ؟
عن هذا الريب المشين
عن هذا العذاب اللعين
ولا أجدعندي يقين
أن الذين على العدل قائمين
هم على العدل قائمين
وأن هم على ألحق قاسمين
هاملين اليمين والقسم العظيم
ولكن يبقى في قلبي إيمان
بأن للميدان إلة رحمان
يحميه من فوق عنان
هو ألحق العدل الرحمن
فيا مجلس القضاء
ويا مجلس العلاء
ويا من في الصمت أضعتمونا هباء
بما تفكرون؟
أن الله بغافل عما تمكرون
فلتنصروا الحق من أجل الأجيال
كل إلى زوال
شهره جاه ومال
قد كان حبيبي خير رجال
وإلاهي حق وعدل وجمال
فلا تكون اندال
لنا العزه بعد الاذلال
والحق معنا لا مجال
وأن يضيع الدم. هذا محال
By zaynab m hafez
أتحت التراب بعدكم ترقدون؟
أم في السماء احرار تحلقون ؟
أتسمع بكائي ودعائي أم نحن واهمون؟
جراحكم أمنها تنزفون ؟
رصاصهم أباقي في العيون؟
صرختكم، أبعدكم تهتفون؟
بلادكم، كيف عنها كنتم تائهون؟
يا حبيبي
ترثيك الامه
تنعيك الكلمه
تنفيك الكذبه
تحميك الدمعه
من النسيان
صبغت شوارع الميدان
بلون يأبى السلوان
شهدت أثار الانسان
أن من قتلك جبان
خلف السواد إستكان
بالقضاء والقصاص إستهان
يا حبيبي
أتنام وتنعم في حرير
أيصلك صوتي عبر الأثير
أترى دموعي كيف تسيل
أقسم لك بسم الام الامومه
بسم يتم الطفوله
بسم حق
أن من قتلك سيقتل و لو بعد حين
و إن أبكموا القضاء
واهدروا القصاص
واجهضوا الحماس
وأن ابدوا الناس
فلنا إلاه إسمه رب الناس
اللاه الناس
منتقم جبار
لا يرضى ظلم و لا جوار
يا حبيبي:
تسألني من قتلوك أبلذنب يشعرون؟
أم هم ذئاب بالدم يرتوون
للنوم كيف يخلدون
ولله كيف سيبعثون؟
يا حبيبي
تسألني عن هذا التأني السقيم ؟
عن هذا الريب المشين
عن هذا العذاب اللعين
ولا أجدعندي يقين
أن الذين على العدل قائمين
هم على العدل قائمين
وأن هم على ألحق قاسمين
هاملين اليمين والقسم العظيم
ولكن يبقى في قلبي إيمان
بأن للميدان إلة رحمان
يحميه من فوق عنان
هو ألحق العدل الرحمن
فيا مجلس القضاء
ويا مجلس العلاء
ويا من في الصمت أضعتمونا هباء
بما تفكرون؟
أن الله بغافل عما تمكرون
فلتنصروا الحق من أجل الأجيال
كل إلى زوال
شهره جاه ومال
قد كان حبيبي خير رجال
وإلاهي حق وعدل وجمال
فلا تكون اندال
لنا العزه بعد الاذلال
والحق معنا لا مجال
وأن يضيع الدم. هذا محال
By zaynab m hafez
Saturday, July 2, 2011
combination not going well for me
put together artist cancerian new mother nursing mother too attachment parent and you got yourself a recipe for tears that have no end to start and never stop just by the simplest words.
i sometimes wonder if i went to german school if it would have gave me a stronger facade to face the stones better
its not easy being all these things and it certainly brings too much emotion for one human body
exhasution from too much emotion is the result
i sometimes wonder if i went to german school if it would have gave me a stronger facade to face the stones better
its not easy being all these things and it certainly brings too much emotion for one human body
exhasution from too much emotion is the result
Thursday, June 30, 2011
will the leader of this revolution please stand up?
we survived so many baltageya nights
and after we thought its over and things are fine now,
they let the dogs out again
my heart goes to the families of the martyrs
they should atleast feel like their loved ones died for a good cause not for chaos to spread and for thugs to rule
it is starting to feel like the thugs are the ruling power
it seems easy to end this bullshit and hang the thugs that are not commiting crimes for a cause other than spreading fear
and keeping our dear egypt in the chaos zone
we need a good leader
someone to lead tahrir square
to lead the youth and the counrty to the road of light
others had martin luther king, nelson mendela and ghandi
where is our leader?
are the police forces and thugs one hand?
where is our leader?
egypt is filled with great people will the real leader please stand up?
and after we thought its over and things are fine now,
they let the dogs out again
my heart goes to the families of the martyrs
they should atleast feel like their loved ones died for a good cause not for chaos to spread and for thugs to rule
it is starting to feel like the thugs are the ruling power
it seems easy to end this bullshit and hang the thugs that are not commiting crimes for a cause other than spreading fear
and keeping our dear egypt in the chaos zone
we need a good leader
someone to lead tahrir square
to lead the youth and the counrty to the road of light
others had martin luther king, nelson mendela and ghandi
where is our leader?
are the police forces and thugs one hand?
where is our leader?
egypt is filled with great people will the real leader please stand up?
Tuesday, June 28, 2011
kelab balady
e7na kelab balady felsefarat
netremy nestana belsa3at
3alashan passporna akhdar
nestana w neskot wntaty
yes2alouna ray7in leh wm3ana floos felbank ad eh
we7na ray7in netfasa7 wenafa3hom wnetsaya7
ezaher en tamana rehkees
enaharda fsfaret almania
a3at astana zay el kalba el balady
etmanet se3ry yeghla wykaramouny feblad tania
etmanet at3amil zay el amricany
7amat raby en benty 3andaha paspor tany
kont fakra en ba3d el thawra 7ay3amluni a7san fesfaret almania
bs estanet zay el kalba talat sa3at wmen wara beban 7adeed a3at be3ida 3an benty talat sa3at
e7na kelab balady felsefarat
Saturday, June 25, 2011
i was hacked
for some odd reason i have been hacked on fb, on my blog and on my gmail!
it felt like it was a cyber death if thats a thing
im back and i might not blog as much
but its just good to know i can
before my last post so many things were different
egypt was somewhere else
everyone said everything so i wont say much now
because we are all fed up
from random people saying random things
lets face it i am random people!
but its a time for change and i will start with the girl in the mirror!
xx
it felt like it was a cyber death if thats a thing
im back and i might not blog as much
but its just good to know i can
before my last post so many things were different
egypt was somewhere else
everyone said everything so i wont say much now
because we are all fed up
from random people saying random things
lets face it i am random people!
but its a time for change and i will start with the girl in the mirror!
xx
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