tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-39828821690976216272024-02-20T22:32:12.245-08:00tousa's blogmennah hafez (tousa)http://www.blogger.com/profile/09452962996693749765noreply@blogger.comBlogger309125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3982882169097621627.post-50640537941072431482013-03-11T02:29:00.005-07:002013-03-11T02:29:54.626-07:00trying so hard to keep the lights on<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
its been crazy<br />
for a mother of small children in Cairo Egypt<br />
it is a lot of work keeping it together in a place like Cairo<br />
you try to keep your cool<br />
you get up every day and make things happen<br />
and you try to keep things together for your children<br />
so they have a somewhat normal childhood<br />
but then when ur small life gets effected<br />
when things as simple as the road to school being safe are not for sure anymore<br />
it becomes hard to be so positive<br />
i realize its part of our evolution<br />
to got through this<br />
i was all for justice freedom and equality<br />
but to tell the truth i lost faith<br />
i dont care for democracy anymore<br />
i dont care for freedom anymore<br />
i dont believe in patriotism anymore<br />
i dont even care to watch the news that depressed me beyond a functioning point<br />
but i just want a little security for my children to be safe on their way to school thats all<br />
thats not too muh to ask is it?<br />
<br /></div>
mennah hafez (tousa)http://www.blogger.com/profile/09452962996693749765noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3982882169097621627.post-8497422663359182862013-02-22T23:31:00.003-08:002013-02-22T23:31:59.121-08:00remember who you are<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<br />
its a thing with most women<br />
they are fine and they do great on their own and then when they fall in love<br />
they forget who they were and they lose track of where they were going<br />
the deeper they fall the more they forget everything about what made them who they were<br />
and worse what made their lover love them<br />
and by time and after bigger commitments<br />
they become roaming planets in the orbit of their lovers<br />
their world dissapears and they become shadows<br />
<br />
<br />
its hard to love someone who forgot who they were<br />
its hard to love someone who is not there anymore<br />
and all thats left is a memory of them<br />
and when these women become moms things get worse<br />
they totally destroy any trace of their own making<br />
and they dedicate their whole life to their children<br />
every moment spent for themselves is loaded with guilt<br />
even a shower has to be short and quick or else its selfish<br />
when a baby is in the next room<br />
dont get me wrong motherhood is the greatest blessing<br />
and it requires dedication and a serious commitment that comes naturally as an instinct<br />
but everyone needs a break<br />
<br />
its hard for these ladies<br />
who became shadows<br />
who forgot who they were<br />
who lost their spark<br />
who lost the glow that made them who they were<br />
<br />
nobody tells you at the wedding that you need to remember who you were<br />
never stop what makes you you<br />
<br />
in egypt since the day a girl is born she is being prepared to be a bride<br />
to honor her family to impress her inlaws<br />
to be a good girl, to be a good mom<br />
rarely is she introduced to the ideas of the importance of loving herself<br />
rarely is she warned about the possibility of losing herself<br />
<br />
when you love someone<br />
dont dissapear<br />
dont lose yourself<br />
dont become an orbiting planet<br />
dont become a shadow<br />
because these things will make you sad always dependent<br />
always expecting the impossible<br />
that this person is responsible for your happiness<br />
anything they say or do will be held against them<br />
so dont go there<br />
stay on your ground<br />
stay in your power<br />
just like men do<br />
they go on with everything<br />
you too dont stop what makes you thrive<br />
what makes you who you are<br />
<br />
and dont change just to please<br />
dont wear a different suit for them to like you<br />
you are perfect beautiful and complete<br />
dont let anything shake you or break you<br />
keep your smile your shine your glow<br />
<br />
if you like to run dont stop<br />
if you like to go somewhere dont stop going<br />
if its not unhealthy or hurtful dont stop it<br />
if its good for you and fun keep doing it<br />
<br />
and please dont forget who you are<br />
and where you were going<br />
<br />
if you will lose something<br />
dont let it be yourself<br />
<br />
the good news is if you lost yourself and want to get it back its not too late<br />
go find yourself now<br />
<br />
love you beautiful one<br />
</div>
mennah hafez (tousa)http://www.blogger.com/profile/09452962996693749765noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3982882169097621627.post-68286179468299217202013-02-20T11:21:00.005-08:002013-02-20T11:21:48.106-08:00dopamine<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
dopamine is the easiest way to happiness.<br />
i have boycotted gyms all my life, i thought they were for hamsters and that free people should run in the outdoors or get their carido from more natural ways, however for so many reasons i wont get into the gym turned out to make alot of sense. for me all i want is cardio and lifting my own body weight through situps and pushups. it turns out all these people were right the gym is so practical and it is efficient.<br />
<br />
the key is good music and discipline, developing a routine for yourself. once you priotitize your workout time, make it religious, good things happen. dopamine my new best friend starts to make u see things in a better light. you gain self confidence, you feel good about yourself. and suddenly food becomes a non issue and you realize that before working out eating was more of a hobby than just a way to get energy to live and move.<br />
<br />
i used to say i am not my body but now i know i am my body and through that vehicle i can reach enlightment and peace. in a healthy body a happy mind can create peace and the spirit can rest. you are your body because you are what you eat and then it makes all the difference in how you feel.<br />
<br />
through excercise everything changes<br />
and for me through yoga depression leaves<br />
and i can be myself and find bliss<br />
<br />
its so important to get dopamine one way or another into your brain<br />
happiness is in the end some chemicals in the brain<br />
<br />
its hard for some moms to find the time to do anything for themselves<br />
being an attachment mom to young children has given me so many good results.<br />
the bond with my children and it just suits my belief system however it can very much also be the reason why i have recently felt like ive lost myself and who i was.<br />
<br />
my sense of resposibility has stopped me from doing anything for myself and for that i have totally forgotten who i was but through some weird circumstances i have found a way to join a gym and find a yoga class where i can breath.<br />
<br />
im very grateful and im here to tell other moms who lost themselves too, who got sucked into being the best moms they can and do nothing for themselves all day, that it is important and vital that you find time to do something for yourself. something you love.<br />
<br />
i realize i still dont go out much at night, i still sleep earlier than my generation, i still am an attachment mom and i would not want it any other way, but atleast i found myself before it was too late.<br />
<br />
dear moms you are doing great find your path of joy be fair to yourself too, find time for you, it will really make everything in your life brighter.<br />
<br />
your children need happy moms to look up to<br />
<br />
<br /></div>
mennah hafez (tousa)http://www.blogger.com/profile/09452962996693749765noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3982882169097621627.post-47102427371602441052013-02-19T11:59:00.000-08:002013-02-19T11:59:49.098-08:00yoga saved me<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
turns out its true, there are people who are sensitive viewers.
the ones they warn before movies, shows, or anything too bloody.
i am one of them.
now with the current state of my country, Egypt the news alone has been causing my misery.
you see i do not watch it like normal people do with detachment or even just interest in knowledge or normal concern
something happens and suddenly im in the shoes of those killed in the street i feel the pain of their families and obviously i start falling into a very dark place where crying does not stop easily and getting on with my life becomes impossible.
so i realize how selfish that might be but i stopped watching the news and decided it will not help my country in anyway that i crumble and die in misery nor will it help my family.
so i decided to retreat in lala land create my own happy bubble and not engage in any way in the struggle for it was eating me alive. no more cbc, no more ontv, no more lamis, and as funny as ibrahim 3isa or amr adeeb are non of them too. ok maybe just the first five minutes.
im writing this to recommend my recipe for happiness to everyone who was falling in the dark place filled with news and anxiety, anyone who is suffering like i was:
please detach from this reality find your own bliss remember your true self.
i found it in yoga and excercise. cardio has saved me, dopamine i missed you. and last but not least yoga it really works like magic. it has pulled me out of a depression that i blame my government for.
i will do anything i can to help my country but i do not wish to die for it as selfish as that is i think blood is more worthy than land. i do not believe in violence, and as much as my heart aches for the martyrs and as much as i ache for their families i dont think we can afford to lose more of our youth because those in power do not care how many people die, to them we are ants.
i promised myself not to get political so im here just to remind my fellow country women and men that we live once if we dont believe in reincarnation, so dont let the state of your country bring you down. create your own reality, and no, food is not the cure, smoking will not help either, find a healthy breathing room and breath and be yourself. dont forget yourself once she or he is happy you can bring everyone around you to a higher frequency.
ps. no body likes to be around sad people i learned that the hard way so find your joy and stick to it.
</div>
mennah hafez (tousa)http://www.blogger.com/profile/09452962996693749765noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3982882169097621627.post-64426302617553324612012-09-26T02:09:00.000-07:002012-09-26T02:34:45.483-07:00the not so great america
first you get cought up with the perfection of everything
everything is big and huge and sparkly in the great america
they make everything there and they have the best education and healthcare too
they are the best in everything and at everything
if you want to see the most beautiful trees, if you wanna buy the fanciest cars, if you wanna go see the biggest rollercoaster you will find all that and more. and strangers smiling opening doors for you helping you out saying hi and goodmorning to people who dont need your money is awesome. you will find the biggest popcorn box the juiciest burgers the largest cokes and the best cleanest parks for kids to play.
however after the first month passes and second one too, after you get suck in a routine and the days start to be exactly the same you start feeling hollow. the day is so long there. hours pass so slowly.
after breathing all the fresh air and experiencing life with so many rights and a well established democratic system i found myself missing the crooked sidewalks of my hometown cairo, i started missing the pollution, the noise of the streets, the authentic egyptian food and the reality of things as bad as they are.
despite the perfection of america it is a very isolated life and and an individualistic culture where one is for one and not all for any but themselves.
many grandparents end up in senior homes, most families are stretched in different states and they see each other in the holidays and some even dread it. so much loneliness and hollowness along with so much responsibility that is dropped on an individual with so little help.
i respect how independent the american culture is however i found my culture in egypt so much more comfortable and a promoter for happiness, you get so much help from a web of family ties that stick together to help pick up any falling member of the chain. its all for one and one for all here.
one might get tired and bored of all the closeness and that everyone is in your buisness and the crowdedness of everything, but when you leave for a while you will find yourself running back missing every bit of it.atleast i did.
i found my self asking these questions:
why is suicide so popular in the places so perfect like americas' best university towns?
how come the people of egypt have low suicide rates when so many are so poor and sick?
the answer came to me perfection is not the reason for happiness having it all does not mean u r happy.
i think the people and family and support along with a community that works to back eachother is what keeps people happy and a great deal of faith n luv.
here grandparents are loved n respected and they live with their children when they are old.
people die for each other here, they would go to the end of the world to help you here.
and if ur car breaks down on the highway a thousand good men will stop to help.
yes the education is not good, healthcare is horrible, sexual harrasment is a disaster, the traffic is a nightmare, and the recent revolution has created instability, yes its full of faults here but we love it and we have come to get addicted to it like a bad drug.
i came back loving the crooked streets of my old city and the old buildings with all the dust on them because it seems and feels way deeper n more real here i feel whole and connected to reality. being in Cairo now it seems like America is another planet very far and very different.
maybe cuz i grew up here and in my blood my country runs, i feel like a fish out of water when i am not on the beaches of egypt in the summer, when i dont hear the call of prayer in ramadan, when i dont visit the hussein mosque and drink karkade on a hot night of the summer, when im not surrounded by the buzz of my friends and family laughing and talking.
my people stay up all night in the summer laughing and telling stories together n thats what i missed most.
mennah hafez (tousa)http://www.blogger.com/profile/09452962996693749765noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3982882169097621627.post-84698174667694072322012-09-20T13:52:00.001-07:002012-09-20T13:55:36.447-07:00the ya3qubian building that i live inthe yaqubian building that i live in
ive been away was doing something big and important
but im back to tell you about our crazy building
the elevator was legally shut down by the police based on some judges judgement some where
the man in the sixth floor sued the owner for not having a permit to use the elevator
and now nobody can use them including him
i fail to understand what good did it serve the crazy old dude on the sixth floor to make the whole building suffer
first i thought great since i live on the fifth floor climbing up and down the stairs will increase my fitness and decrease my weight and i will lose the extra pounds then i realized all im losing is my good health
first day was funny going up carrying my child and bags and then it became unbearable
after a few weeks
the old ladies with health problems are locked upstairs in their homes unable to go anywhere
they say they are working on it to make it work again
the old crazy man who was the reason the elevators dont work now went down with his gun threatened our porter to make the elevator work again
our porter also threatened to kill the nutcase since he has signed a document to the police promising to keep it out of order
crazy building so many details im leaving out
but i just wanted to tell you its not easy climbing up and down the stairs carrying two kids and their bags everyday
waiting for the silver lining great legs maybe some day soon but until then
i just wanna say ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
and if ur elevator works count your blessings
if you dont have a lunatic in your building who dramatically upscaled your suffering level phisically for no logical reason be thankful
count your blessings you do not live in the ya3qubian building
mennah hafez (tousa)http://www.blogger.com/profile/09452962996693749765noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3982882169097621627.post-86753977880760244792012-04-24T09:42:00.001-07:002012-04-24T09:42:23.818-07:00deliverance art exhibitionSunday, May 6, 2012
6:00pm until 10:00pm
Cairo, Egypt Al Kahila art gallery 15 battal ahmed abdel aziz st mohandesin Cairo Egypt
Exhibition title:
Deliverance
Art statement
Deliverance:
1. The act of delivering or freeing from restraint, rescue, as the deliverance of a captive.
2. Act of bringing forth children.
3. The state of being delivered or freed from restraint.
4. Anything delivered or communicated esp. an opinion or decision expressed publicly.
Many have asked me not to express myself and that the revolution has been worn out and that nobody wants to hear about it anymore but the revolution is inside us and I must deliver what is true. The state of women, freedom of expression and the cry for justice and mercy along with the deliverance of the unborn child!
The children of the revolution are what this exhibition is about. An artist is often a sponge of their environment and to be a true artist he/she can not paint about what will sell rather than what is true. I paint what I feel without any other concern.
A revolution that is yet to be delivered like a baby waiting to be born.mennah hafez (tousa)http://www.blogger.com/profile/09452962996693749765noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3982882169097621627.post-87383836262221687112012-04-09T15:41:00.025-07:002012-04-10T00:11:09.027-07:00a dirty showhave they been scaring us with the islamist boogyman?<br />or was it real that the people wanted us to be iran?<br />is pakistan our role model now?<br />or has it all been a dirty script scaring us of becoming iran and making us run crying back to x regime<br />or omar soliman<br />x regime? <br />or is it the regime?<br />has it all been fake?<br />at some point i thought we were so close to the light<br />like all those who reached the light before us<br />and then suddenly they shattered all my dreams with beards and trivial talks about bikinis and beers<br />nobody talked about education<br />nobody talked about healthcare<br />nobody talked about justice<br />nobody explained anything or any sort of plan<br /><br />no i wont carry the worries of a nation<br />no i do not trust the system<br />and no i wont curse it out of fear of being sent to jail too<br />despite the delusions the filth the pollution<br />despite the no security the no garauntees and the no anything<br />the nothingness that we are so in love with<br />despite it all we wanted to stay<br />and make it here some way<br /><br /><br />but we do not wanna live like rats in the dark all the time<br />with our fellow citizens suffering all the time<br />with so many people who have nothing<br />with so many fears of theft and murder<br />and stories of people weknow being kidnapped and worse murdered <br />there are those we lost in the square<br /> and those we lost in the field<br />and now the rich are a target in a land where bread is a luxury<br />we have so much help here<br />and all our families<br />we are so connected to them<br />we wanna make it work here<br /><br />but then again there is the islamist boogyman from one side<br />on the other side x regime promising to keep our comfortable selfish lifestyle and bring back an iron fist that promises security again<br />and no sign of a revolution that happened just old scripts of fake scenarios that all took place <br />all manufactured to scare the hell out of the simple man <br />the me and the you<br />all thats left is the blood <br />that has been mentioned so much that it even bores everyone to discuss <br /><br />it all seems fake <br />like a dirty well laid plan<br />and the price of the ordinary man is cheap<br />and i can still see the blood in the street <br />but then again the sun shines every day and if only i do not turn the tv on at night and c all the talk shows <br />its like every thing is ok<br /><br />and the sad thing is everyone is sick of the revolution nobody wants to talk about it anymore<br />discussing the rights of freedom and justice have become lame so 2011 and so worn out<br /><br />we are all dissapointed <br />living in a place that makes no sense<br />and no we can not trust anymore<br />we can only expect anything and we all wait to c the weirdest things to happen<br /><br />and in a state of national uncertainty all we can do is focus on our small lives and try to enjoy the simple moments of joy <br />food, love, family<br />isnt this what the real stuff are about?<br />who knows maybe real positive change will happen but maybe not in my lifetimemennah hafez (tousa)http://www.blogger.com/profile/09452962996693749765noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3982882169097621627.post-3097529487597623662012-01-08T10:57:00.000-08:002012-01-08T11:23:05.491-08:00the rich dont caresome how some way i have noticed that the rich dont care<br />they say with noses pointing to the sky the people in tahrir are thugs<br /><br />i tell them no they are not<br />they say have u been there have u seen them<br />i say yes<br />maybe they dont look so clean cuz theyve been there for weeks<br /><br />and then they go on to provoke me more and say<br />why was the girl in the blue bra not wearing a shirt under her black abaya<br />and Oh God nothing annoys me more than that<br />because if they saw the video she was and if she wasnt she is free<br />because underneath ur clothes u can wear whatever you want<br />you dont think well maybe if they undress me i need to wear layers<br />undressing people is not an option usually<br /><br />and then they say what brought her there<br />and oh i cant even stand this anymore<br /><br />and the street children who were killed<br />they say they are street children as if that is their fault and as if for that they deserve to die<br /><br />the rich dont care<br /><br />they dont care for the blood shed <br />all they care for is if a building got burned or a material thing got touched<br />but they do not value the lives that are lost<br /><br />the rich dont care<br /><br /><br />i think its disgusting not to even have a stance with ur heart<br />not to take the side of justice not even with ur heart<br /><br />they walk around in expensive clothes they live in huge houses and their hearts are so cold<br />they are so blinded<br /><br />they really do not care<br /><br />no its not democracy to respect their opinion<br />because when u are for murder and inhumanity<br />you are not worthy of respect <br /><br /><br />sadly so many people i know dont care if a man is killed for asking for a better life<br />just because he is poor uneducated or even looks messy<br /><br />the rich dont caremennah hafez (tousa)http://www.blogger.com/profile/09452962996693749765noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3982882169097621627.post-19992436687698337212011-09-19T11:58:00.000-07:002011-09-19T12:13:38.086-07:00She is with Godat the hussein mosque she came in wearing big loose black garments and a veil like all the women there were dressed<br />she oozed so much confidence<br />and strong will<br />she was big and full of life like a warrior of light<br /><br />she was so strong<br />like a fighter like no one can stand in her way<br />the man at the door wanted to take her shoe and give her a number like everyone else<br />but she refused<br />she said i wont take a number<br />she put her shoe on the shelf and with a loud strong voice she said<br />im with God<br /><br />she went to the tomb of al Hussein the grand son of my beloved prophet<br />and she started singing poetry of sufi love<br />praising the prophet his grandson and all his family<br />praising the sufis GOD and the seekers of light<br /><br />she took away all my sadness<br />she sang like she did not care what anyone thought<br />everyone gathered and cried<br />she touched all our souls<br />she was different and confident<br />like a thousand men could not stand in her way<br /><br />like a million women were inside her abaya <br />like a warrior of light<br />she took us all in a sufi trance<br /><br /> she made me realize why this land is so precious <br />because its full of light and spirituality<br />so many poor people tied closely to God<br />the egyptians are originally mystics<br />the egyptian muslims are mostly sufis<br />don't fear the fundies the warriors of light will win<br />because they pray from the heart <br />and from them true peace can fill the land<br /><br /><br />this land is worth it <br />this land is full of light<br />and the sufis will not stop singing<br /> <br /><br />today i met a woman who said im with God<br />and no one can stand in her waymennah hafez (tousa)http://www.blogger.com/profile/09452962996693749765noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3982882169097621627.post-78225898695846229442011-09-18T16:19:00.000-07:002011-09-18T16:36:41.269-07:00evolution revolutionif you keep fighting it you will gain nothing<br />its part of the spiritual evolution<br /><br />so many angels on this earth right now <br />here to take us higher<br />here to change us <br /><br />all the experts know about 2012 and how much it will be so much better for us<br /><br />all the tyrants have no place<br />all of those who were swiming in cash are drowning now<br />or finding shores where their cash means nothing<br /><br />you can fight it<br />you can blame the u.s and isreal for everything on earth<br />but you can also embrace the change<br />you can realise its good<br /><br />your soul knows it<br />you can stop using ur monkey brain<br />you can open your heart<br />your soul wants to evolve too<br /><br />let it<br /><br />God is so close <br />you are connected to him know it or not<br />believe in him or not he created you and the world as you know it<br /><br />the old ways of running after money and power will not work anymore<br /><br />yes your life was comfortable but now is the time to feel for the rest of those on the sinking boat<br /><br /><br />we can keep crying for the few we think are now unjustly in jail<br />we can keep falling into hate and misery and fight the waves of change<br /><br />but its happening so you might as well surf <br />you might as well let it go and let the meant to be happen<br /><br />if you were attached to the material world<br />you will have nothing<br />find God inside you <br />yes its not like hollywood and all the cool things that make talking about him geeky<br />but you know what? God is here and he is great and so much light came from him and his angels<br /><br />maybe its time you realise the practical and mundane are lame<br /><br />or not<br /><br />but everyone else is embracing the light<br />im not judging you<br />you are the only one still suffering<br />we all suffered from fear but now we are happy and we realized the impermenance of our material enviroments<br />stay in the freak out zone<br /><br />we will find the light<br />and we will be dancing in circles with the angels while you dread the change and how things did not go ur way<br /><br />we will be high while you keep smiling at the instability saying i told you so<br /><br />but we are not shortsighted we know its part of the evolution to go through some instability and guess what we are not glued to the news<br /><br />and guess what there is no me and you<br />there is no us and them<br />there is no concpiracy either<br /><br />because we are all one we are all divine because we are all him and he is inside each of us and the skies tie us on this earth into one<br />and if you open your eyes you will see so much beauty and if you close your eyes you will see even more light and beauty<br /><br />love and peace on youmennah hafez (tousa)http://www.blogger.com/profile/09452962996693749765noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3982882169097621627.post-85406009484269973642011-09-15T11:25:00.010-07:002011-09-15T11:59:34.760-07:00The science of painPain comes on slowly it gets stronger and stronger and stronger until you can not bear it any longer <br />then pain has to faDe slowly cuz that's how pain works<br />They say endure it<br />Pain teaches you the blessing of not having it<br />Pain is mostly from stress<br />The mind can't handle it<br /> so it manifests<br /> in an aching part of ur physical body<br /><br />Pain has to go away<br />It makes you suffer<br />And from that you grow <br />and learn about the pains of others<br />You then relate<br />Pain is a club a dark one that makes you bond<br /><br />You know exactly how it is for those <br />who are going through what you went through<br />Pain teaches you about impermanence <br />Makes you decide to detach or else die and get it over with<br /><br />Pain and patience go hand in hand<br />Nobody wants to talk about pain<br /><br />When pain leaves peace of mind rests and suddenly you are so close to GOd<br />As if the demons in your head caused the pain<br /> <br />and at other times the pain itself brings you close to GOD <br />Pain is not fair but it's a great teacher that leaves scars and gives you stories to share<br /><br />Pain is very close to pleasure<br />When the pleasure is absent then comes pain<br />teaching us to leave the game<br />And find a safer place<br /> where there is no pleasure and no pain<br /><br />Don't be a magnet to the pain<br />Pain chooses his victims like they are waiting to suffer<br /><br /><br />Don't go through another's pain<br />Help but don't feel it <br />You will get your share so don't bleed twice<br /><br />Be the strong rock instead <br /><br /><br />Pain is part of human life<br />We can't escape it<br /><br />Pain is a harsh good teacher<br /><br />But I thank GOd for the pain cuz it taught me about blessings of peace of mind<br /><br />But the worst kinds of pains are pains of the heart<br />Keep the heart happy and pure cuz sooner or later pain will visit and the heart needs to be peaceful and away from pleasure <br /><br /><br />Love is painful<br />So even in love rise moderately and don't fall hard<br />So the bruises don't give you too much painmennah hafez (tousa)http://www.blogger.com/profile/09452962996693749765noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3982882169097621627.post-15650032251814764242011-09-13T02:33:00.000-07:002011-09-13T03:27:01.314-07:00Cairo post revI love people watching <br />I go out to cafes to see what everyone is up to<br />What they are saying<br />And from that i understand how things are in a place<br /><br />Yesterday at night in tabasco cafe <br />A young man of artistic nature ordered a coffee and wanted to light a cig in the closed space<br />I asked if he doesn't mind waiting till I leave since me and my baby we can't breath<br /><br />He was understanding<br />He waited and gave me the right of oxygen<br /><br />His two girl friends came in and hugged him cuz he just came from Alex<br />They really missed him<br /><br />He had so Much art to show them in his notebook and many interesting stories to tell them about life in Alex <br />They were all liberal, wearing jeans and t shirts very Egyptian and very proud <br />Two strong women who felt like they were taking care of him<br />He was so slim he doesn't eat much<br />So they laughed and ordered their own lunch<br /><br />He started telling his stories his sad stories<br />He was loud and we were the only ones there<br /><br />I told them I hope you guys don't mind that I can hear everything you are saying<br />I am entertained but I want to have your permission to continue listening<br />They laughed so much and apologized <br />I explained that I'm loving it<br />They went on to telling their story<br /><br />he talked about Alexandria<br />that Alex has become another gaza<br />Beards and long cloaks everywhere<br />All the workers are dressed in the typical Islamic garments and the army is creating an environment of hostility<br /><br />He said things are much worse in Alex<br /><br />You see Alexandria has always been more conservative<br />And after the fall of the Islamic phobic regime the Saudi influenced people are shining now and it's like they are all out of the closet<br /><br /><br />Even here in Cairo<br />Suddenly the long messy beards have grown out of the once shaved faces of men I used to know who worked at the store<br />I realized they were always religious but Mubarak made them hide it since they could have been arrested<br />Anything forbidden is more interesting<br />They forbade religion and made it so wrong that now it's freedom showing that you are very religious<br /><br />I believe religion is inside us <br />But I believe people should be able to dress and look the way they want to<br /><br />The young man told his girlfriends that two of his Friends died in Alex <br />I was shocked they are young<br />He said one died from a heart attack in his apartment<br />The other from an overdose<br /><br />Many people are dying from heart attacks these days<br />I could relate some of the nights of the revolution I could have easily lost my life too<br />My heart was almost stopping from fear of the thugs and gunfire of the old regime<br /><br />I wondered if the islamists rule will these friends be able to meet again and sit together and laugh <br />Will they be able to wear short sleeves and touch as they talk<br /><br />I started remembering how we look at the way Egyptians used to dress at the king Farouk times<br />we never know if the way we dress now will be remembered as the good old days of freedom<br />thats if the islamists rule<br /><br />then i said no<br />the liberals are here<br />they wont let it go<br />the voice of the fundies is high<br />but they are a minority<br /><br />the sufis and the liberals are still here<br />we egyptians are faithful by nature<br />faith is part of our being<br />so its natural for religion to play a role<br /><br />but freedom and arts are also parts of us<br /><br />i dont wanna be obsessed with the islamist boogiman like my fellow x regime lovers<br />i dont wanna be paralysed by fear from the lack of security<br /><br />life will go on <br />art will go on<br />if i paint and the worker works and the singer sings<br />maybe life will be better here<br />it already feels way better<br /><br />just now i was overhearing a group of people forming an alliance to help egypt<br />loud people who are passionate and a bit annoying are discussing the future of the country which is awesome<br /><br />there is a buzz<br />and it is excitingmennah hafez (tousa)http://www.blogger.com/profile/09452962996693749765noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3982882169097621627.post-65404122872321509652011-09-12T15:53:00.000-07:002011-09-12T16:07:31.342-07:00Juliet and marsIf men are from mars<br />And women are from Venus <br />Why on earth do they live together <br /><br />Mars is cold<br />Venus is warm<br /><br />Mars is happy alone for long intervals<br />Venus loves company<br /><br />Mars doesn't notice so many details<br />Venus is aware of every little thing and it touches her psyche<br /><br />Venus listens<br />Mars interrupts<br /> <br /><br />Venus is spiritual and dreamy<br />Mars is practical and earthly. <br /><br />Mars is a desert<br />Venus is a forest<br /><br />Mars is cold and sarcastic<br />Venus is warm and empathic<br /><br /><br />Why do mars and Venus decide to live on earth together<br /><br />They come from opposite worlds and only before sharing a bed does it seem like the 2 worlds can coexist<br /><br /><br /><br />Why do they come from different worlds if they were meant to live together<br /><br /><br /><br /><br />And why did Romeo not mention the cave when he fell in love with Julietmennah hafez (tousa)http://www.blogger.com/profile/09452962996693749765noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3982882169097621627.post-66983413340876395222011-09-12T15:48:00.000-07:002011-09-12T15:52:59.546-07:00The city is charmingThe city is charming until u have a baby<br />And it becomes overbearing <br />The pollution<br />The filth <br />The dirt<br />The dust<br />The traffic<br />The lack of nature<br /><br /><br />Cairo is not meant for children but rather adventurous young couples or single women and men<br />Living the urban dream<br />Living the rustic way<br /><br /><br />Dear Cairo <br />I love u but to me u have eXpiredmennah hafez (tousa)http://www.blogger.com/profile/09452962996693749765noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3982882169097621627.post-42286262588108749542011-09-07T14:19:00.000-07:002011-09-07T14:51:11.219-07:00New CairoThere is another world out there for <br />X cairenes who chose the cleaner life and escaped the city<br />They chose the suburbs <br />Young families with young children moved to the sprawling city <br />In gated compounds they live in greenery <br />With less pollution and their children can run free<br /><br />They have malls like the rest of the world<br />I visited mall of Arabia today and I even found rich women in the abaya and loose hair like in Dubai <br />Shops like gimberee gap zara home oysho and more make me feel home and that if I need something I don't have to travel<br /><br />Spinnies opened there and the experience is world class <br /><br />It's so nice to see Egyptians in uniforms working just like the people of the world <br />And this tome they smile more and have more hope<br />If only the people in the cafes won't smoke<br /> a much the experience would be worldly. <br /><br /><br />Yes it's exciting to see Egypt embracing modernity with local brands like Mobaco concrete and beonos offering services like international <br />competitors <br /><br />I was celebrating in mall of Arabia <br /><br />The old city has it's charm back in Cairo but it sure is nice to walk without crooked sidewalks <br />To be surrounded by clean new infrastructure <br /><br /><br />To see kids running free and families having their rights to breath and be themselves not worrying about what the bawab will say or even if the elevator is still not working <br /><br />New clinics new schools wider roads lovely compounds a sense of community and hope for Egypt <br /><br /><br />Yes I love 6 of October and I wish I was part of that worldmennah hafez (tousa)http://www.blogger.com/profile/09452962996693749765noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3982882169097621627.post-40760369268391950532011-09-02T16:57:00.000-07:002011-09-02T16:59:49.130-07:00dear egyptplease seek the turkish model
<br />please leave the persian trouble
<br />
<br />please for the love of God be better
<br />
<br />
<br />youre always beautiful nomatter how dirty they make you and how instable you are im safer here then anywhere
<br />cuz here is love cuz here is family cuz here i will make itmennah hafez (tousa)http://www.blogger.com/profile/09452962996693749765noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3982882169097621627.post-28939339882693729582011-09-01T16:56:00.000-07:002011-09-01T17:00:53.851-07:00glowing lightsglowing lights came to me last night
<br />shaping lovely patterns and some flickering wings
<br />across a black background glowing colors started dancing
<br />
<br />its been a tough ride
<br />finally im home again with lights
<br />
<br />ramadan never do i wanna leave u again
<br />pleaese GOd dont let me go so far
<br />i need to be around everything that reminds me of my ramadan
<br />
<br />
<br />next time we will be together with my sisteers and mother
<br />i wont just leave again in the best time to stay
<br />
<br />glowing lights said somennah hafez (tousa)http://www.blogger.com/profile/09452962996693749765noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3982882169097621627.post-59565733335904887592011-08-29T19:56:00.000-07:002011-08-29T20:16:42.879-07:00little thingslittle things mean so much
<br />things that might mean nothing to others means so much to us
<br />The mad lovers
<br />
<br />a scene might not get to them but to us it can traumatize us for a life time
<br />flowers mean the world to us
<br />words of love and compliments with details
<br />taking your time with words
<br />
<br />long gazes and eye contact
<br />putting us first always
<br />not bringing in other names
<br />not even mentioning other creatures
<br />
<br />
<br />thats how we are we are selfish with our lovers
<br />we want it like the movies
<br />
<br />
<br />we are ambitious
<br />we cant just be happy like our mothers
<br />we want more
<br />
<br />we want to be part of the decision maing process
<br />we want transparency
<br />and equality
<br />we want to be treated like we deserve the world and more
<br />
<br />we want to be missed even if its one night
<br />we want to be told so
<br />we want to be like the lovers of the shakespeareian tales
<br />
<br />we want the stars and the sky
<br />and everything between the earth and the stars to feel like its ours
<br />
<br />we want to be sacred
<br />like nothing you have seen
<br />like we are unique and our bodies are temples
<br />
<br />we want to be looked at for a long time
<br />
<br />and our efforts and hard work need to be acknoledged
<br />we want to know that we are the true love and not just the settlement destination
<br />
<br />we want to be your best friend
<br />and your dream and your forever
<br />we want to be protected by you like we deserve only the best scenario so long as you can give it
<br />
<br />even if you lie about it
<br />lie in favor of making us feel like goddesses of beauty
<br />
<br />even if you have seen more beauty say that we are the only ones you have seen
<br />
<br />even if your dying to take that call shut the phone
<br />even if you mean nothing by complimenting others hold it in and keep the compliments to us alone
<br />yes we are selfish lovers
<br />and when we go mad cuz so many times we do hold us tight and say how much you love us and respect us and that in your life time you
<br />have never loved so much
<br />
<br />let your gaurd down
<br />cry a little
<br />get down on your knee and say you want to live forever with us
<br />say we want to share each detail and plan
<br />
<br />
<br />dont become the enemy
<br />Be a mad lover
<br />
<br />mennah hafez (tousa)http://www.blogger.com/profile/09452962996693749765noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3982882169097621627.post-429405255074122011-08-29T19:13:00.001-07:002011-08-29T19:14:28.417-07:00Love gives wingshttp://www.ascendyourself.com/node28.phpmennah hafez (tousa)http://www.blogger.com/profile/09452962996693749765noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3982882169097621627.post-70947623769366284642011-08-29T16:09:00.000-07:002011-08-29T16:14:52.054-07:00Earth is tough
<br />No doubt in that
<br />It's sometimes fun but over all it's not a fun ride
<br />When u truely look at it you will realize how easy it could be for people to quit on stuff
<br />Giving up sucks but sometimes it's simpler and way more relaxingmennah hafez (tousa)http://www.blogger.com/profile/09452962996693749765noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3982882169097621627.post-50425677625267055732011-08-28T22:21:00.000-07:002011-08-28T23:12:54.985-07:00a culture of sadness<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjrcmDmOTA1g_tfWFEe135NsStLwlVWihmCk0IO7d4e4BKOL1GfFLnqveO9lGZex7cLsNXabI4m0NDIesk9T1MeM7iOxyyHpq_yb0EBNSOX70n_R0AUZHrNXsUH3TV7N9MAjgfjG53teo7L/s1600/images-1.jpeg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 292px; height: 172px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjrcmDmOTA1g_tfWFEe135NsStLwlVWihmCk0IO7d4e4BKOL1GfFLnqveO9lGZex7cLsNXabI4m0NDIesk9T1MeM7iOxyyHpq_yb0EBNSOX70n_R0AUZHrNXsUH3TV7N9MAjgfjG53teo7L/s320/images-1.jpeg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5646155453838985266" /></a>
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<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />i turn on the egyptian channel
<br />yet i am in california
<br />and oh my God
<br />the soap opera
<br />the mother is crying holding her daughter
<br />saying words that could not be translated in english
<br />
<br />our culture in egypt is so sad
<br />sadness is just our way and the common ground
<br />yes there is humor
<br />but the overriding feeling is sadness
<br />
<br />sadness is a culture in egypt
<br />even after the joy of the revolution all i could do was cry for the martyrs
<br />
<br />in california people are not afraid to say they are happy
<br />maybe its because they really are
<br />
<br />the government makes sure most of them are
<br />they can walk around
<br />they have pavements
<br />sidewalks
<br />they have trees
<br />they have parks around every neighborhood so the people can enjoy
<br />
<br />they have rights
<br />they feel like human beings like they are worthy
<br />and at the coffee house the stranger opens the door for me and gives me his place in line
<br />
<br />he says you go first
<br />i thought everything was a struggle and here everyone is being nice
<br />a new movement here started by a local called daymaking
<br />which is an attempt to make a strangers day and do something nice for no rewards other than a desire in a better world
<br />so its like paying it forward everyone is trying to make everyone else's day
<br />walking down the street i am greeted by nice people who wish me a great day
<br />
<br />in egypt the beggars only wish me stuff and they want money
<br />they say may God keep you
<br />i once told a beggar but i don't wanna just be around, pray something better like God bless you or wish me happiness or anything who says i wanna just be around forever
<br />
<br />here in california
<br />in the street
<br />there are
<br />smiling people
<br />full of hope
<br />and its a happy culture
<br />
<br />back home we are mostly sad
<br />traffic can steal any joy out of us
<br />everyone is out there to share the misery
<br />we have even grown closer in misery
<br />because we have it as a common feeling
<br />
<br />and we have no idea what is next
<br />our government is capable of screwing us over to the limit that we can not imagine
<br />we have zero trust
<br />we are traumatized
<br />we took our lives into our own hands
<br />
<br />we are so happy when we see a policeman
<br />we wanna dance in joy that they decided to work again
<br />
<br />when we travel we always say what a clean place
<br />because it not that clean in our street
<br />but cleanliness is like a given everywhere else
<br />
<br />and then again i look around and i feel the joy of the people here
<br />yes many have gone mad and walk around yelling stuff but the majority are happy motivated and hopeful
<br />
<br />the egyptians are like orphans
<br />the government has abandoned them so those of them who can went and tried to get adopted by those who value their children
<br />canada and america
<br />
<br />everyone wants dual citizenships
<br />because another passport gives you more humanity
<br />your price goes up
<br />
<br />until the revolution came along and now saying im egyptian here in california tastes so much better
<br />thanks to tahrir square we have a better name here and everywhere
<br />
<br />but what exactly is going on back home i dont know
<br />all i know is that i wanna say im egyptian here and it feels way better than saying it last year
<br />
<br />but our culture is a sad one and it might be an eastern thing that the tears flood like waterfalls
<br />my people have seen so much injustice and pain and neglect its only normal to be so sad
<br />even if you are rich having poor and sick people around you will depress you
<br />having so much ignorance and sickness and poverty around you is bound to get you down
<br />
<br />we are stuck with so much love to our land
<br />love that hurts
<br />love that makes us sad
<br />love that makes us come back
<br />they say build and we will
<br />but its the sadness that will take so much time to erase and the trust that will take ages to build
<br />and the people who need new bodies new skins new minds to start fresh and to forget the ways they have been treated
<br />
<br />
<br />we take everything into our hands
<br />because we have zero faith in our government
<br />we keep trying to live in a place that is just perfect for dying
<br />
<br />but there is hope and life will go on
<br />
<br />
<br />maybe its an arabian thing to carry sadness within
<br />ours is a culture of sadness
<br />
<br />
<br />mennah hafez (tousa)http://www.blogger.com/profile/09452962996693749765noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3982882169097621627.post-49351756777054154882011-08-27T21:27:00.001-07:002011-08-27T21:27:08.278-07:00"Dance, when you're broken open. Dance, if you've torn the bandage off. Dance in the middle of the fighting. Dance in your blood. Dance when you're perfectly free."
<br />— Rumimennah hafez (tousa)http://www.blogger.com/profile/09452962996693749765noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3982882169097621627.post-51153988887932592752011-08-27T18:23:00.000-07:002011-08-27T19:11:45.708-07:00HaremNo we are not the maids you hired
<br />Neither are we the prostitutes you ordered
<br />No we are not second class
<br />
<br />No I will not walk after you
<br />No I will not be silent when I can speak for myself
<br />No I am not less just because im a woman
<br />No I am not less just because I am young
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />No I will not be an object of desire
<br />No I will not be weaker
<br />No I will not play dumb
<br />
<br />I will shine because my light is on
<br />
<br />
<br />No I will not dim it so I don't make anyone feel uncomfortable
<br />
<br />Yes I am strong I have lived before I was even fine
<br /> I don't need to be under your rule
<br />
<br />
<br />My job is not to look pretty and obey
<br />My job is not just to be a good girl
<br />
<br />
<br />No you do not own me
<br />You are not the boss of me
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />And I refuse to be treated like a second class citizen
<br />
<br />because of my age sex or color
<br />
<br />My accent is beautiful I don't néed to change it
<br />
<br />I will speak whatever language I feel like speaking
<br />
<br />
<br />I will sing in English Arabic and Italian
<br />
<br />
<br />I will blog I will paint I will walk and I know where I am going
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />I will be brave because I owe it to my daughter
<br />I brought her into the world so she can see a strong role model not a disappearing shado
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />No I will not become a clone
<br />No I will not mold my self to fit in
<br />
<br />I'm Pretty much whole the way I am
<br />I love how I am and I won't transform into a half to fit the puzzle
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />No I'm not just a goodgirl who does not make trouble
<br />
<br />We are not babies
<br />
<br />
<br />We carry them
<br />
<br />We are not objects
<br />
<br />We are capable just like you
<br />
<br />We are smart and sometimes even more spiritual and sensitive
<br />
<br />We are capable of multitasking
<br />
<br />And putting ourselves in The shoes of others
<br />
<br />No I will not nod and be quiet
<br />No I won't walk behind you and follow
<br />
<br />I am whole I am great because I am an EGyptian womAn
<br />
<br />
<br />The harem is not my place nature is my mother and I am a child of God
<br />And for that I am beautiful and proud I will stand up straight and my head will be high because I am not ashamed of my sex my race or my religion
<br />
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<br />Shahrazadmennah hafez (tousa)http://www.blogger.com/profile/09452962996693749765noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3982882169097621627.post-59703363395026601202011-08-26T19:22:00.000-07:002011-09-12T15:51:57.565-07:00apple heavensteve jobbs is all over the news<br />the reason the apple name is golden and this company is so great<br />is that its not about making money only<br /><br />apple is so much more than just a company or brand<br />today i am in palo alto california and i am in the same city that steve jobbs lives in<br /><br />i saw his house its close to where i am staying<br />its big and wonderful but its also humble down to earth and it blends in with nature<br />its nothing showy or too fancy<br />a man who can build a golden palace and rub it in all our faces knows life is not about showing off ur wealth<br />but rather living in the place that makes you comfortable and happy don't get me wrong it is beautiful and big but it is reasonable and lovely too<br /><br />today my apple phone died on me so i went in the amazing apple store<br />a store that is beaming with light full of life<br />full of young and old people who all wanna be part of the apple revolution<br /><br />apple is not just a smart brand its artistic its free it symbolizes all the things i believe in<br /><br />i was stranded in the store: no phone, no car and no idea how to reach my husband<br />the apple genius and thats what the people who work there to help you understand the apple products more<br />showed me where the phones are <br />and i looked to my right i found a table with apple phones being charged and so inviting they all stand shiny and new<br /><br />i asked the genius: but these phones are not for everyones use are they?<br />he said yes they are<br />i asked him: is it for free?<br />he said yes<br />now i started getting greedy as i thought of all the international calls i have been making<br />so you can even make international calls?<br />he laughed and said yes<br />i was shocked and i asked and its also for free?<br />he said yes as he took my i phone to fix it<br /><br />i stood there amazed for a few seconds and i looked around the store <br />and i understood what all the fuss is about<br />its abundance <br />apple is being so kind so inviting <br />you can use the internet you can use facebook you can check your mail you can play games you can<br />make calls you can enjoy apple at the store and you are surrounded by so many people who are willing to help you understand apple better <br /><br />the phone could not be fixed so the man just gave me a new one<br />without even telling me he will<br />like its so easy to be generous<br /><br />i was so happy<br />it was like i was in apple heaven<br /><br />i looked behind him and i saw a homeless lady come in<br />with white hair so long and tangled it touched the floor<br />with a hunch back<br />with so many bags <br />she looked exactly like the which in snow white<br />even she felt welcomed<br />she put her bags under the desk and started using the computer<br />i recognized her she lives on university avenue<br /><br />for me it was unbelievable how nobody even looked at her<br />not even a glance<br />not the employees not the customers<br /><br />she stayed there <br />i left and thanked the apple geniuses<br />and i booked an appointment to learn how to create a website<br />to use the garageband<br />and the i videos too<br /><br />the place is always busy<br />the apple store is like apple heaven<br /><br />next time i go i will call my mother in egypt<br />its apple heaven and everything is possible<br /><br /><br /><br />i wish steve jobbs health because the world needs him around <br />he is such a great inspiration<br />a modern day hero <br /><br /><br />"stay hungry,stay foolish" steve jobbsmennah hafez (tousa)http://www.blogger.com/profile/09452962996693749765noreply@blogger.com0