the not so great america

first you get cought up with the perfection of everything everything is big and huge and sparkly in the great america they make everything there and they have the best education and healthcare too they are the best in everything and at everything if you want to see the most beautiful trees, if you wanna buy the fanciest cars, if you wanna go see the biggest rollercoaster you will find all that and more. and strangers smiling opening doors for you helping you out saying hi and goodmorning to people who dont need your money is awesome. you will find the biggest popcorn box the juiciest burgers the largest cokes and the best cleanest parks for kids to play. however after the first month passes and second one too, after you get suck in a routine and the days start to be exactly the same you start feeling hollow. the day is so long there. hours pass so slowly. after breathing all the fresh air and experiencing life with so many rights and a well established democratic system i found myself missing the crooked sidewalks of my hometown cairo, i started missing the pollution, the noise of the streets, the authentic egyptian food and the reality of things as bad as they are. despite the perfection of america it is a very isolated life and and an individualistic culture where one is for one and not all for any but themselves. many grandparents end up in senior homes, most families are stretched in different states and they see each other in the holidays and some even dread it. so much loneliness and hollowness along with so much responsibility that is dropped on an individual with so little help. i respect how independent the american culture is however i found my culture in egypt so much more comfortable and a promoter for happiness, you get so much help from a web of family ties that stick together to help pick up any falling member of the chain. its all for one and one for all here. one might get tired and bored of all the closeness and that everyone is in your buisness and the crowdedness of everything, but when you leave for a while you will find yourself running back missing every bit of it.atleast i did. i found my self asking these questions: why is suicide so popular in the places so perfect like americas' best university towns? how come the people of egypt have low suicide rates when so many are so poor and sick? the answer came to me perfection is not the reason for happiness having it all does not mean u r happy. i think the people and family and support along with a community that works to back eachother is what keeps people happy and a great deal of faith n luv. here grandparents are loved n respected and they live with their children when they are old. people die for each other here, they would go to the end of the world to help you here. and if ur car breaks down on the highway a thousand good men will stop to help. yes the education is not good, healthcare is horrible, sexual harrasment is a disaster, the traffic is a nightmare, and the recent revolution has created instability, yes its full of faults here but we love it and we have come to get addicted to it like a bad drug. i came back loving the crooked streets of my old city and the old buildings with all the dust on them because it seems and feels way deeper n more real here i feel whole and connected to reality. being in Cairo now it seems like America is another planet very far and very different. maybe cuz i grew up here and in my blood my country runs, i feel like a fish out of water when i am not on the beaches of egypt in the summer, when i dont hear the call of prayer in ramadan, when i dont visit the hussein mosque and drink karkade on a hot night of the summer, when im not surrounded by the buzz of my friends and family laughing and talking. my people stay up all night in the summer laughing and telling stories together n thats what i missed most.

the ya3qubian building that i live in

the yaqubian building that i live in ive been away was doing something big and important but im back to tell you about our crazy building the elevator was legally shut down by the police based on some judges judgement some where the man in the sixth floor sued the owner for not having a permit to use the elevator and now nobody can use them including him i fail to understand what good did it serve the crazy old dude on the sixth floor to make the whole building suffer first i thought great since i live on the fifth floor climbing up and down the stairs will increase my fitness and decrease my weight and i will lose the extra pounds then i realized all im losing is my good health first day was funny going up carrying my child and bags and then it became unbearable after a few weeks the old ladies with health problems are locked upstairs in their homes unable to go anywhere they say they are working on it to make it work again the old crazy man who was the reason the elevators dont work now went down with his gun threatened our porter to make the elevator work again our porter also threatened to kill the nutcase since he has signed a document to the police promising to keep it out of order crazy building so many details im leaving out but i just wanted to tell you its not easy climbing up and down the stairs carrying two kids and their bags everyday waiting for the silver lining great legs maybe some day soon but until then i just wanna say ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh and if ur elevator works count your blessings if you dont have a lunatic in your building who dramatically upscaled your suffering level phisically for no logical reason be thankful count your blessings you do not live in the ya3qubian building

deliverance art exhibition

Sunday, May 6, 2012 6:00pm until 10:00pm Cairo, Egypt Al Kahila art gallery 15 battal ahmed abdel aziz st mohandesin Cairo Egypt Exhibition title: Deliverance Art statement Deliverance: 1. The act of delivering or freeing from restraint, rescue, as the deliverance of a captive. 2. Act of bringing forth children. 3. The state of being delivered or freed from restraint. 4. Anything delivered or communicated esp. an opinion or decision expressed publicly. Many have asked me not to express myself and that the revolution has been worn out and that nobody wants to hear about it anymore but the revolution is inside us and I must deliver what is true. The state of women, freedom of expression and the cry for justice and mercy along with the deliverance of the unborn child! The children of the revolution are what this exhibition is about. An artist is often a sponge of their environment and to be a true artist he/she can not paint about what will sell rather than what is true. I paint what I feel without any other concern. A revolution that is yet to be delivered like a baby waiting to be born.

a dirty show

have they been scaring us with the islamist boogyman?
or was it real that the people wanted us to be iran?
is pakistan our role model now?
or has it all been a dirty script scaring us of becoming iran and making us run crying back to x regime
or omar soliman
x regime?
or is it the regime?
has it all been fake?
at some point i thought we were so close to the light
like all those who reached the light before us
and then suddenly they shattered all my dreams with beards and trivial talks about bikinis and beers
nobody talked about education
nobody talked about healthcare
nobody talked about justice
nobody explained anything or any sort of plan

no i wont carry the worries of a nation
no i do not trust the system
and no i wont curse it out of fear of being sent to jail too
despite the delusions the filth the pollution
despite the no security the no garauntees and the no anything
the nothingness that we are so in love with
despite it all we wanted to stay
and make it here some way


but we do not wanna live like rats in the dark all the time
with our fellow citizens suffering all the time
with so many people who have nothing
with so many fears of theft and murder
and stories of people weknow being kidnapped and worse murdered
there are those we lost in the square
and those we lost in the field
and now the rich are a target in a land where bread is a luxury
we have so much help here
and all our families
we are so connected to them
we wanna make it work here

but then again there is the islamist boogyman from one side
on the other side x regime promising to keep our comfortable selfish lifestyle and bring back an iron fist that promises security again
and no sign of a revolution that happened just old scripts of fake scenarios that all took place
all manufactured to scare the hell out of the simple man
the me and the you
all thats left is the blood
that has been mentioned so much that it even bores everyone to discuss

it all seems fake
like a dirty well laid plan
and the price of the ordinary man is cheap
and i can still see the blood in the street
but then again the sun shines every day and if only i do not turn the tv on at night and c all the talk shows
its like every thing is ok

and the sad thing is everyone is sick of the revolution nobody wants to talk about it anymore
discussing the rights of freedom and justice have become lame so 2011 and so worn out

we are all dissapointed
living in a place that makes no sense
and no we can not trust anymore
we can only expect anything and we all wait to c the weirdest things to happen

and in a state of national uncertainty all we can do is focus on our small lives and try to enjoy the simple moments of joy
food, love, family
isnt this what the real stuff are about?
who knows maybe real positive change will happen but maybe not in my lifetime

the rich dont care

some how some way i have noticed that the rich dont care
they say with noses pointing to the sky the people in tahrir are thugs

i tell them no they are not
they say have u been there have u seen them
i say yes
maybe they dont look so clean cuz theyve been there for weeks

and then they go on to provoke me more and say
why was the girl in the blue bra not wearing a shirt under her black abaya
and Oh God nothing annoys me more than that
because if they saw the video she was and if she wasnt she is free
because underneath ur clothes u can wear whatever you want
you dont think well maybe if they undress me i need to wear layers
undressing people is not an option usually

and then they say what brought her there
and oh i cant even stand this anymore

and the street children who were killed
they say they are street children as if that is their fault and as if for that they deserve to die

the rich dont care

they dont care for the blood shed
all they care for is if a building got burned or a material thing got touched
but they do not value the lives that are lost

the rich dont care


i think its disgusting not to even have a stance with ur heart
not to take the side of justice not even with ur heart

they walk around in expensive clothes they live in huge houses and their hearts are so cold
they are so blinded

they really do not care

no its not democracy to respect their opinion
because when u are for murder and inhumanity
you are not worthy of respect


sadly so many people i know dont care if a man is killed for asking for a better life
just because he is poor uneducated or even looks messy

the rich dont care