cleopatra in london

for some reason my letters were being typed in hindi which is very funny since i am in london and when i arrived at the airport i felt like i reached a country that was more of an offspring of a marriage between the indians and the arabs. the people at the airport all looked like my people and my indian neighbors. where are the english? they dissapeared and became a minority.
the hindi language looks fascinating. to buy bubble gum from a store i pay a guy who looks like the arabic population and in the background i hear the Quran playing. it was nice not to feel like an alien, actually the question is who is the alien here? noone!
freezing london sings for christmas and we celebrate our feast too. the shops are calling my name and i am practicing self restraint until now i am! God help me the clothes are glittering and looking amazing the smells of the perfumes are mezmerising it is hard to hold back. i hope i am a good girl and i do not go mad.

in london the egyptians are here the arabs are here the indians are here the chinese are here the russians are here too the british are in the background waving not making babies but working their asses off and rushing to catch the subway and get to their meetings on time in their boots, in their black leggings. with their black bags, everyone is stylishly cool and fashion is a natural rule that everyone abides too. the pharoes faces are revered in harrods and the christmas spirit fills the air. it is thanksgiving too and im thankful for being here, for my eyes and my heart and my body too, for my family, for my blog and for you who read it. what are you thankful for? gratitude is very important it only increases the flow of good in your life. God gives more to the thankful and takes from the ungrateful.
the sun shines in cairo and disapears in london yet all the world walks the streets in london feeling fresh and clean and beautiful too. winter clothes are so great and sweet loving and warm.
enjoy your thanksgiving, your feast, your christmass and pray, praying is good for you.
love the world and relax.
in london, in uggs, in a place that seems like it is the right one all the time

sing for the earth

m.j had a message stronger than the messages of the great artists who came before him. m.j loved the planet and he inspires the world to feel what he felt. i love m.j. i love the earth i love the trees i love the children, i love music , i love the animals join m.j, celebrate life, sing, dance and respect life.

m.j wrote, sang and felt this..

Earth Song"

What about sunrise
What about rain
What about all the things
That you said we were to gain...
What about killing fields
Is there a time
What about all the things
That you said was yours and mine...
Did you ever stop to notice
All the blood we've shed before
Did you ever stop to notice
The crying Earth the weeping shores?

Aaaaaaaaah Aaaaaaaaah
Aaaaaaaaah Aaaaaaaaah

What have we done to the world
Look what we've done
What about all the peace
That you pledge your only son...
What about flowering fields
Is there a time
What about all the dreams
That you said was yours and mine...
Did you ever stop to notice
All the children dead from war
Did you ever stop to notice
The crying Earth the weeping shores

Aaaaaaaaah Aaaaaaaaah
Aaaaaaaaah Aaaaaaaaah

I used to dream
I used to glance beyond the stars
Now I don't know where we are
Although I know we've drifted far

Aaaaaaaaah Aaaaaaaaah
Aaaaaaaaah Aaaaaaaaah
Aaaaaaaaah Aaaaaaaaah
Aaaaaaaaah Aaaaaaaaah

Hey, what about yesterday
(What about us)
What about the seas
(What about us)
The heavens are falling down
(What about us)
I can't even breathe
(What about us)
What about apathy
(What about us)
I need you
(What about us)
What about nature's worth
(ooo, ooo)
It's our planet's womb
(What about us)
What about animals
(What about it)
We've turned kingdoms to dust
(What about us)
What about elephants
(What about us)
Have we lost their trust
(What about us)
What about crying whales
(What about us)
We're ravaging the seas
(What about us)
What about forest trails
(ooo, ooo)
Burnt despite our pleas
(What about us)
What about the holy land
(What about it)
Torn apart by creed
(What about us)
What about the common man
(What about us)
Can't we set him free
(What about us)
What about children dying
(What about us)
Can't you hear them cry
(What about us)
Where did we go wrong
(ooo, ooo)
Someone tell me why
(What about us)
What about babies
(What about it)
What about the days
(What about us)
What about all their joy
(What about us)
What about the man
(What about us)
What about the crying man
(What about us)
What about Abraham
(What was us)
What about death again
(ooo, ooo)
Do we give a damn

Aaaaaaaaah Aaaaaaaaah

happy birthday to my friend, my husband's best friend and one of the earliest followers of this blog k.r this song is a birthday wish too

this is it

and it really was it for the legend

for the king of pop

i saw the documentary and i realized how one man can have so much talent

it was the most inspiring thing i have ever seen

something beyond the norm of talents and art is what he had

he was dying from all the talent he had

it was too much for his depleting body to bare

in the rehearsals he was flying

he was the master of every set

the director of every stage

his voice has become part of our being

his lyrics part of our souls

mj was the king

the only man who made it ok to touch himself in public

he makes sexuality seem so natural and accepted

after every shoot or take he would wish every one divine blessings

God bless you he would say and now God is blessing him

I refuse to believe anything bad said about a man who cared so much about the planet

such a man can never harm a soul especially a child

a man with a message of so much love can never offer the world anything but love

i am glad he was able to enjoy his last rehearsals with the luckiest dancers and singers by his side

and i am glad he did not have to go through the pressure of performing again in front of an audience and traveling and doing things he let go of a long time ago.

he was a philosopher and a lover of the planet the world and the children

what about us?

heal the world make it a better place

start with the man in the mirror

who sings like that?

who writes like that?

the world has been unfair to him and he resided in never land like the child in every artist this man was free and when he danced he made our feet happy too

a man i admire no matter how he looked i could see his heart and when he moved it was natural

the dancers around him struggled to do the steps while he dances like we breathe

he sang like we talk

music flows through him and from him like a wave of the sea natural and simpler than anything we struggle to do

this was it for his rehearsals but his art and love will never die

i love u m.j you do not know me but i love the talent that God put in you

i love how you brought the world together

watching you inspired me to be, to dance, to sing, to paint and to write

the most inspiring man was mj

who else will inspire us the way he did

who else will wear glittering pants and who else can pull anything off

will the world meet ur match ever again?

God bless you now as you dance in the heavens

his message was we are all one

tell the fighting armies tell the politicians

if only people listened

God bless the world

love always

just another fan

trees

if you can learn something from a tree what would it be?

• to be rooted
• to look up to the sky
• to make branches and to expand
• to be a good home for the birds and all the free
• to give shade to people and take them under whatever good you have
• to stand tall
• to be balanced
• to know where you came from
• to grow
• to be fruitful
• to be fresh
• to make people breathe
• to dance
• to keep ur head high
• to know who you are
• to be green
• to be colorful
• to be friendly
• to be urself
• to be
• to relax
• to be one with the earth, the sky, the birds and the leaves
• to reach for the stars
• to be solid not like the drunk
• to be high with out sipping a drug
• to be wise
• to be humble

have you ever seen a tree that is trying to be a flower? have you ever seen a tree that does not like the earth it is standing on? Have you ever seen a tree that does not pray to God with it's arms reaching to the sky?

Have you ever seen a tree that does not seek for light? Have you ever seen a tree that does not shelter?

Have you ever seen a tree that does not blossom in the spring and refuses to loose its leaves in the winter? trees are not in denial.

Trees adapt to change, trees do not care what you say about them. Trees are in sync with the Universe and in remembrance of God whether you like it or not.

Trees are green. Trees are kind, trees are real, trees are trees not like those who lost their roots.

That is only some of what I learned from the trees. Meditate on the trees they know the secrets that you and me forget sometimes.

24 pounds

nobody has it easy

if you think they do

it is not true

nobody is as happy as when you see them in a party

nobody is in heaven if they are on earth

nothing is what it seems

people have a thousand masks

they are not those you see in a restaurant for an hour or three

they are not the ones on the phone

they are not even the bloggers

they are not the fraction you see of them

never think someone is happier

never think someone is luckier

we all have it equally

24 pounds to all

if God brought you here on earth you will be equally blessed and you will equally suffer like the rest

there is no way out

we all have it all

the faces on tv and in the magazines are not happier

the people on the top are lonelier

the people with everything tend to doubt their true friends

the smiling faces in the party are not real

when the masks come off thats when you see the real

dim the lights, turn off the t.v, breathe it is not so bad to be with you.

for u to understand

Highly Sensitive People: Emotional Sensitivity By Kyra Emotional Sensitivity Empathic people do have observable traits that are easily identified. Interestingly, the traits are a set of characteristics that have always had their own air of mystery. I'm referring to a set of psychological traits that has never been adequately explained before. These characteristics are commonly referred to as emotional sensitivity. Sensitivity is a set of character traits that has just begun receiving attention from the psychological community within the past few years. This is strange, because it has always been fairly prevalent among the population. Nevertheless, it has not even been officially recognized as a personality type. I want to make sure that you understand what I mean when I use the term sensitivity. Following is a list that describes the attributes of emotionally sensitive people. 1. Emotionally sensitive people feel emotions often and deeply. They feel as if they "wear their emotions on their sleeves." 2. They are keenly aware of the emotions of people around them. 3. Sensitive people are easily hurt or upset. An insult or unkind remark will affect them deeply. 4. In a similar vein, sensitive people strive to avoid conflicts. They dread arguments and other types of confrontations because the negativity affects them so much. 5. Sensitive people are not able to shake off emotions easily. Once they are saddened or upset by something, they cannot just switch gears and forget it. 6. Sensitive people are greatly affected by emotions they witness. They feel deeply for others' suffering. Many sensitive people avoid sad movies or watching the news because they cannot bear the weighty emotions that would drive to their core and stick with them afterwards. 7. Sensitive people are prone to suffer from recurrent depression, anxiety or other psychological disorders. 8. One the positive side, sensitive people are also keenly aware of and affected by beauty in art, music and nature. They are the world's greatest artists and art appreciators. 9. Sensitive people are prone to stimulus overload. That is, they can't stand large crowds, loud noise, or hectic environments. They feel overwhelmed and depleted by too much stimuli. 10. Sensitive people are born that way. They were sensitive children. There are a couple different responses kids have to their sensitivity. One type of sensitive child is the stereotypical kid who gets picked on by bullies, and is a well-behaved, good student because she cannot stand the thought of getting into trouble. The other type of sensitive child more often experiences the stimulus overload mentioned in the previous paragraph. These children are thus over stimulated and have difficulty focusing, which causes them problems in school. Sensitive people typically exhibit all or nearly all of the above descriptors. One of the sure signs of a truly sensitive person is that he feels animosity toward his sensitive nature. Most sensitive people whole-heartedly wish they were tougher and more thick-skinned. They feel like their sensitivity is a weakness. They wish things didn't bother them so much. They wish their emotions weren't so obvious to other people. They wish they could let things go and not worry so much. They aren't comfortable with their sensitivity, and wish they could do something to get rid of it (or at least get rid of the negative aspects of it). Therefore some sensitive adults have learned how to hide their sensitivity from others. About Dr. Mesich Kyra Mesich earned her doctoral degree in clinical psychology from the Florida Institute of Technology APA-approved program in Melbourne, FL. In the years since her training, Dr. Mesich has studied extensively in the field of alternative health. By studying such practices as herbalism, flower essence therapy, energy healing, and meditation, Dr. Mesich seeks to uncover the true meaning and underlying source of the emotional suffering so many of us endure. Dr. Mesich is the author of the award-winning book, The Sensitive Person's Survival Guide. She works and resides in Minneapolis, MN. Please visit her at: http://www.kyramesich.com/

protect the innocent

some people are just born with rocks in the place of their hearts

some people can be so heartless

i think it is not fair that people of different strengths live together

some people can be affected a lot more than others

some people go through life with ease

some suffer from things others do not even notice

the sensitive should all live on a land of their own

the thick skinned should have their own country

they should not be allowed to deal with each other

there should be punishments for hurting feelings just like there are punishments for stealing and abuse

the world should make more sense

to all the bullies of the world:

the army generals

the people who give the orders

those who disrespect others feelings

those who sold their souls to the devil

those who thought they have the right to destroy people's lives

those with the knives in their hands

those with actions like knives

those with the tongues like knives

those who are only insensitive

these people should not be called people, human is an acquired label.

these people i am describing are everywhere

they should have other names to describe them

we should be seperated

dear mr president

the eye does not dry

the throat still aches from captivity

the stomach still feels the sadness

my heart aches beyond the measure of nationalism

the great nation of mine has been humilated

i can complain as much as i want about my country

but i do not want to hear a word of negativity from an outsider

we have been hurt and we want revenge

please mr president do not let this pass too

the people are sad

please show the world mr president the the egyptian has a price

the nile is begging you for a stance

the pyramids are waiting for a reaction

Egypt is asking about how the people will respond

the pharoes are looking down from the sky in shock waiting to see dignity back to their grand children

i always knew how much i loved Egypt but now i understand how deep my love is

when everything crumbles the smallest thing can make the people explode

we are filled with sadness rage and anger over the dignity of the egyptian that was destroyed in sudan

this land is full of talent and love

this land is full of history and potential

this land is full of culture and warmth

this land is fruitful

this land was mentioned in the Bible in the Torah and in the Quran

this land carried jesus and Mary

this land promises stardom for all the artists

this land needs to regain the dignity of its people 

this land is begging for change, for a stance, for heads to be held high again.

please mr president do something our hearts are crushed!!

we can not move on!!

facts about what happened to the egyptians last night

egyptian fans who went to sudan suffered beyond the measure of human suffering

the algerians had knives and when they won they attacked the Egyptians

the sudanese did not protect the egyptians

the egyptians were beat up and some of them bled and no one helped

the egyptians hid in buildings from the barbarians called algerians

at the airport the door was closed

at the airport no one helped

they sent their algerian criminals and we sent our artists

things have passed the level of soar loser behavior

this is not about a game anymore

they won and still they beat us

last night the question was what would have happened if we won?

would they have killed thousands?

the sudanese cheered for the algerians.

what happened to the algerians?

what happened to the sudanese?

what happened to the egyptians?

this is a shock! this was not a game, this was the worst insult to human dignity.

i was going to go to sudan with my husband now i thank God i did not go.

to hell with soccer and the stupidity, the aggression, the violence and the idea of winning.

this was not a game! this was a war!

why do they hate the egyptians so much?

we did not know how much the barbarians hated us before.

last night many cried over what happened to the Egyptians.

tonight algeria won

algeria won is the most positive way to say it as an egyptian.

the egyptians gave their all tonight and something stronger than

hard work and good effort stopped them from scoring.

Luck or fate i don't know which of them, but i know somethings are out of our hands.

Soccer is like life, you do your best, you believe, you are positive and in the end no matter what you do sometimes it is not meant to be for you to score and you live wondering why would you lose this that you have been dreaming about all your life.

somethings are beyond our comprehension.

two days ago the streets were filled with jumping egyptians singing and dancing, tonight disappointment marks every face of every Egyptian and the crowds walk with heads looking at the pavement instead of the sky.

dreams of competence and success were shattered. every egyptian dreamed about the light of hope tonight to once again raise our heads, and we were so desperate for that victory more than we ever were, however fate has inscribed our loss a long time ago along with our lack in every other way and aspect.

again we are disappointed, again they will wait for another ray of light another reason to raise the dusty flag, another reason to scream the word egypt like we were put on mute before the time came we could be heard.

it was not about sports or games anymore it was about hope and the possibilities of a nation.

we wanted to succeed in one thing at-least one thing!

but luck was on the other team's side.

again we lose while the whole world competes and we do not qualify, the world is weird, nothing is really in our hands except to do our best the rest is not up to us.

we are only passengers on a ride, we have some say but we do not stay for a long time. everything changes sooner or later, hopefully one day we can celebrate winning at the world cup, hopefully we can raise our flags again.

hopefully something could be done one day some how some way.

be careful

have you ever been trapped in a conversation with a friend where your friend complains about someone and when you start supporting your friend and giving them right for their complains they start defending the person they were complaining about?

well that has happened to me a bit too much lately that I have made a deal with my self never to take sides ever again and not to support even my closest friends or family.

the problem is i am passionate so i get fired up when I hear injustice and then i become the evil one in the story since people always mend their wounds together with time and i remain feeling the wound alone, a wound that is not even mine, a wound that the person who first felt it has already dismissed it.

People can be weird like that, they tell you about their experience which is full of injustice and when naturally your empathy takes over they act like they themselves do not care.

this is not a rhetoric question i write here in hope of getting replies or comments. It is my therapy in ways and the best times are when people comment, so tell me is it only me with this problem?

i am sharing this so that if someone out there experienced it, my advise is to keep ur empathy to your self and try to listen silently with sympathetic eyes and sealed lips.

so many times have i carried the grudges that do not belong to me and I can not act normally around the people i have heard horror stories about, when in fact those who were the original carriers of the grudges can deal fine with their offenders, so i am left betrayed and the only freak in the show. The only one who can not act civilized is usually me because im feeling too much for those who moved on a long time ago.

why do i care so much? how can i stop caring?

the science of happiness

yesterday I attended a sort of short seminar.

A speech that summed up a course about happiness given in Harvard.

It is my duty to share what I found out, or else I would be selfish.

Selfish are those who know and do not share.

I will just randomly write down all i can remember since i did not take notes.

it is very hard not to reciprocate happiness and smiling faces.

being positive is contagious

being negative is also contagious

any negative u see will pop up in ur brain too it is impossible not for it to

so it is important not to surround yourself with negative stimuli and be around negative people

there are practical things you could do to help you be happy

keep a journal

write down in detail the positive thing u experienced each day. reliving it while describing affects you and helps in ur over all positive state

before you go to bed say out loud the three things you are grateful for and it could not be just stating health,love, success you must be specific with details. recommended for couples to do together before they sleep especially if they involve each other.

this affects the lens to which u see the world, everything depends on the lens. through a dark lens so many opportunities are missed and so many possibilities are mistaken for random things.

the next thing you can do is meditate or do yoga it has been proven that meditation through religious or non religious ways like staring at the stars, just focusing on something other than work for a while makes people happy.

Exercise! it produces dopamine and that makes you happy.

take minutes out of your day to do a good deed to the world like helping people in any way.

connect with family and friends

its all stuff we knew but sometimes forget to apply.

the speaker was asked if people with religious faith were happier the answer was yes. research proved that faith makes you happy, through the meditation that every religion has, through the acts of giving that are required, through the social support you get through your faith. You are more prepared when you practice your belief system.

he also talked about how our brain fools us and stops us from doing what we wanna do because of illusionary barriers.

a way our brain does that is when you are home with sneakers and gym clothes on the brain thinks it is more effort to take the clothes off than to go to the gym, so u r more likely to hit the gym than take off your shoes and go to bed, if you already put them on.

so you can play on your brain like that fooling it so you can do the things you wanna do.

he also said that it takes 21 days to create a life long habit whatever it is.

this is all part of positive phycology something I am very interested in. While the classic phycology focuses on the disorders and the percentage of people with problems bringing down the majority based on the contagious theory, the study of positive phycology focuses on the happy people studies what they do and tries to teach the rest of us.

the future is in positive phycology there will be no more analysis of childhoods with abusive fathers and drowning of tears at therapy, the world will focus on the good you have and how to bring more of that.

I personally loved it so much, it agrees with my religious beliefs since based on Islamic teachings God gives you what you expect. Expect the best and you will get the best, miracles do happen and faith makes people smile.

Smiling is something my religious teachings encourage me to do, the hadith states that God has told our prophet something that means the following: if you were frowning and if your heart was hard the people would have not gathered around you.

be happy, be grateful, nobody is happy all the time, but being grateful for what we have only brings more.

the equation is not:

success+hard work= happiness

it is:

happiness+hard work= success and happiness

do not wait to be happy, nothing you will achieve or buy will bring happiness, happiness is self born, only you can be happy and the process starts from within.

annoyed by the algerian fans

the algerian fans beneath my house have become a tad annoying!

they did not move on. The game is over yet they still fill the

streets and they cannot stop cheering. Cheers are good, cheers are fun, but not when they stop our cars to shout at us. Cheers are cute until flags are burned.

What is all that hate that they have for us?

I realized it is a common feeling between both teams, but this is not a national war. In the end it is about a ball.

their cheer said " el masry fil sudan mesh hayewsal" meaing the Egyptian wont make it in Sudan.

On wednesday Egypt plays Algeria again in Sudan, but why isnt there cheer motivating their team players? their cheer is just annoying!!

Four trucks or more packed with policemen are parked in front of the embassy and the direct street to my house has been closed by law.

When the people cheer so much in the stadium it is great!

When they cheer walking out of the stadium it is also wonderful, but when they cheer a day after a game that they scored zero in, scaring the Egyptian pedestrians on their normal day of work or you name it, that is annoying.

It seems like the Egyptians are not the only hysterical people, we have found our match.

terror from the police and the algerian fans fills my street, the egyptians can not react because a thousand police men stand behind the algerians with pointing guns.

Rule number one :

never visit a country especially with a population like Egypt and burn their flag.

I really do not understand!!

the winners are in ecstasy

yesterday Egypt won the match and our hearts were jumping with happiness. Many people cried including my self. Although this victory is one of the few things we have going for us as egyptians it meant the world to us. i was so grateful that we won and that the cheers of the millions filled the streets. i was so glad our flag was once again proud. children chanting masr! which is what the word Egypt sounds like in arabic. I was in ecstasy last night and so were the 80 million Egyptians.

God stood by the poor people who have little to celebrate and made them dance with joy. Soccer is all they have now so the generous God of ours gave them that. Our Egyptian players fought like warriors knowing how much the game means to the Egyptians. It is not just a game for us, it is a matter of life or death. I was worried about the old men in the old coffee shops, that they would suffer from heart attacks. Thank God they survived, not just that but they went to bed smiling too.

If we had the same passion that we had for soccer, for work, for achievement, in political ambition we would have been the leaders of the world. Our over population yesterday was not a con it was inspiring. The sight of the millions marching and jumping in read wearing flags, wearing their hearts on their sleeves hugging and singing, was inspiring. Our over population is power, we can do anything together, if we unite like we did last night miracles could happen.

We are not weak as a nation we are strong we are even dangerous if you think about it. The beautiful thing about last night was that it was a carnival of love and joy it was divine and legendary. The cheers, the children singing, the flags everything was amazing. Everything about last night was proof that we can be a happy powerful, united, successful people.

Under the right guide we can be a force for the world. With help and right use of our power which is our passion and population the whole world can be our audience.

I wonder if soccer can be the next leading force for Egypt. If the people love it so much lets turn this country into the mecca of soccer. Let all the children be trained soccer professionally and in the name of soccer let children be enthusiastic to learn, let teachers teach with passion, let doctors cure with passion, let companies work for soccer, let the whole country be a soccer nation if it is the only thing that gets them going.

Let the government rule like a soccer coach, let us score, let us pass the ball to each other, let us focus on team work and let the people cheer for our big players.

Let the flag have a soccer ball on it, let us be the best soccer players in the world and let the people of the world buy plane tickets to witness our games.

Let us sell our players with millions, let us all be the soccer players of the world and let this land be known for that.

This is no joke or analogy, if we perfect one thing, and if soccer is the one thing we care about, let soccer inspire us and free us and let it be the reason we are humans again. Let the world come to play on our beautiful land and our perfect weather. Let the pyramids witness the most amazing games ever played. Let all the ugly buildings transform into dorms for players and their families and let the other jobs that we suck at blur in the background.

That high that we all felt last night may we feel it again, may we find other reasons to be proud that we are Egyptians, other than the pyramids, there must be something we can be good at, there must be talent on this land.

Right now we are good at loving soccer! cheering for soccer! and our team is great! and we are good at making more of us but the question is for what do we bring more people? There must be something for the new generation to be proud of other than the pyramids the nile, the soccer, and our classic movies.

last night we were happy we all prayed God that the millions sleep with smiles and that hearts do not break or stop, and God was kind and we did win. The nation danced to dawn last night, it was not just a game for us it was our only hope!!

Last night the Egyptians were in ecstasy, they were again proud, let there be more reasons for these people who lost their smiles and energy to smile and hold their flag again and remember who they used to be not many years ago.

Birthday Girl!!

Happy Birthday to the most beautiful woman inside and out.

My mother in law is no ordinary woman and any one who meets her understands.

I was dreaming of her last night and when I woke up my husband said that it is her birthday today.

I have heard of stories from friends and relatives describing mother in laws to be demons and devils who destroy the lives of couples, I got so lucky because my mother in law is an angel with out wings.

When I say she is an angel, this is not a compliment to her it is a fact. Any one I meet who knows her tells me the same exact thing, "your mother in law is an angel", and I say I know and I am lucky.

Even her voice vibrates in higher frequencies then the rest of us, she speaks in the tones of angels. She is beautiful inside and out, she is more of a best friend who you could tell anything to. I never knew I could find so much comfort in anyone besides my own mother. We laugh together, we shop together, we eat together. Although you might wonder if she eats like the rest of us, or if she feeds on the love of the people around her only.

She was a university professor and I wondered how lucky her students were. I thanked God I was not her student because she would have realized my limitations in physics and doubted my intelligence. she might have even warned her son that his future wife has no understandings of things beyond art and literature, thank God she met me after I graduated.

She is a shining light for her sister and the best aunt too. She is the best mother to two brilliant young men. She is as delicate as the roses from the gardens of heaven. She is as clever as Brie from house wives is in her cooking and home making. She could have been a fashion designer, with her class and slender figure she could have been a super model too.

She is the sun for her family and friends, she helps the world through her own n.g.o that she founded with her friends. She works to bridge the gaps between the poor and the rich. She even corrected the misspelled street signs in Luxor once, she did it on her time, for no rewards she works to help. She is a great planner, and she has the best taste in all she wears, holds, or owns.

She is a california girl at heart and a social star in her Egyptian home town. The best wife, the best mom, the best aunt, the best sister and the best friend. I am sure people were confused when they saw her for the first time, for she is too good to be true.

She is like the dream, like the clouds, like the fairy tales, like the queens of the old times and above all I am crazy about her. I love her madly and so does everyone who meets her, she is as sweet as the cakes she bakes. She is as warm as the soups she blends and cooks.

She is amazing in every way may God bless her and may she come back soon, may her family always be healthy may she always be happy!

She is a goddess of kindness and class and on her birthday I wish I could have hugged her and kissed her, but between us is an ocean, and with time I will be able to hug her again soon.

I hope she has a happy birthday because life has taught me the importance of happy birthdays. Although I do not believe in time and many times have I mocked the idea of celebrating a day, however now I have realized that a happy birthday is something worth thanking God for. A happy birthday brings a happy year, a happy birthday shows you that people love that you are here, that you came to this world.

May all your birthdays be happy my beautiful aunty Mona!

Love

Always

your daughter by law!!!! :)

The Beautiful Game

In Egypt Soccer is not just a game it is what is left for the people to hold on to in their country.
The Egyptians have lost all they had and the one thing they hold on to with their clinging nails is soccer.

It is the one thing they can still hold on to. Their trapped frustrations and silence about all that is corrupt and was once magnificent is transformed into a passion for soccer that seems more like a revolting angry force than an interest in a sport.

The people are looking for a reason to storm the streets and scream, a reason that is not political of course. The people's only legitimate scream is for the game. Their only spoken hope is for winning it. And today hopes are high streets are filled with drums and men dressed in red filled with anger towards the Algerians rather than cheers for their team.

I live next to the embassy of Algeria and the Algerians came and stood in front of their embassy in green and wearing the rage of wars not games. They cursed the Egyptians in French and unfortunately the students of the French schools around the embassy of Algeria understood so fights broke out, bottles were thrown and people got hurt.

WHY DO THE PEOPLE HAVE TO TURN EVERY BEAUTIFUL THING INTO A HATE CRIME?


Danger can be sensed in my street, police officers are everywhere and things are electrified.


What was meant to be a game, a sport, has become a national struggle and anger fills the red and the green teams. It has become the quest of the nation.

We Egyptians are like that- hysterical in all that we do. Hysterical about the swine flu! Hysterical about soccer, hysterical about any new topic and extremely emotional to boot. We like to stretch a subject and suck life out of it leaving it worn out. We exhaust ourselves with topics until new ones rise. If something new is going on every group will wear it out and every mouth will dry from over discussing it.

It is obviously sick how they are behaving and it is a way that they chose to transfer their frustrations.

I really hope that Egypt wins tomorrow and I even have the spirit to paint my whole body in the colors of my flag but I worry that if I go to the stadium I might not come back.

I pray that Egypt wins and my heart goes out to the team that carries the burden of a corrupt government and the duty to please people who have been disappointed for years. It is as if their victory will solve everything and suddenly the education will be better and the hospitals will have the means to cure the sick. As if the poor will have food if we win. As if freedom will spread her wings high if we win. As if we will be great again if our athletes win.

If the players win, we will feel their pride as if it was a result of our own feet on the court not theirs. We feel pride that only Roman gods should have. However, if they lose they might get beaten and cursed and disrespected like traitors to their land. As if the rules of any game did not include the possibility of winning or losing.

These players carry burdens that no man can bare for they are the only thing that keeps this country united and they are the only ones who make the people proud, the only thread of hope is them, God bless them, and may they succeed in making the millions jump with happiness, and if they fail please God protect them.

The Game is meant to end with a loser and a winner if you cannot take the fact that your team might lose then hide away and do not stay to watch the game tomorrow.

The fans must calm down tomorrow may there be no sorrow tomorrow. I truly deeply hope my Egyptian team wins tomorrow and that dreams and hearts do not shatter!

Dreams

she told that soon all my dreams will come true.

The problem is my dreams are endless and vague and confusing
I want so much that in the end i want nothing at all:

in love with the nile but dreaming of florence.
in love with life and dreaming of life in mecca where it is only the afterlife in focus.
in love with the beaches of the world and infatuated with the Brazilian tide.
in love with the rural life, the nomads life, the simple life and also the city life.
in love with san Francisco but always home sick when we reach the place.
dreams of theatre, art, and dancing.
dreams of galleries and success.
Dreams of healing people and touching lives.
dreams of writing and getting published.
dreams of recognition haunt me.
dreams of children and N.G.Os that help the world.
dreams of an immortal family or a group union with God instead of scattered dates of departure.
dreams of paradise and talking with God, dreams of enlightenment and freedom from suffering.

So is it possible that all my dreams come true as diverse as they are?
what are your dreams?
Are they different and impossible to coexist? Do you think our dreams should be clear and definite for them to come true?
or is it possible that the angels decode our confusions and know what is best for us making the most brilliant dream come true?

they always say be careful what you wish for and they say that for a reason.

Siwa and the Maktoub (destiny or the written)

Life and death are two sides of the same coin. Siwa is the place I just came back from and the sands of time stand still when you are there. In a place where electricity does not happen and life is lived in its most natural form, I have experienced siwa the magical place. Only three days felt like three years. What started as a fun trip in celebration of life ended in tears and in memory of a lost life.

We were a great group with great energy and everything there is pure and natural, with rooms that blend in the desert and candles that ignite your soul, surrounded by palm trees that sing our old egyptian songs and food that is planted and cooked away from the chemicals of the city life. It was like a dream breathing the fresh air and it was like being planted in a novel setting, I felt like a village princess from the times of my prophet. The air is fresh and dry and the oasis is screaming life in the middle of the desert. The hands of God marked every grain of sand and his beauty kissed every palm tree. The little mountains stood there with pride being what they are and knowing that it is best to be mountains. Nature is like that clear and simple and easy to love, a tree is a tree and the desert is the desert nothing takes the role of the other. The locals in Siwa live like the natural man was meant to live.

The funny thing is that I did not for one moment miss the t.v or my phone, like I knew nothing before Siwa and nothing after. In seconds the nature of the place embraces you and you blend in with the desert and your spirit finds comfort in watching the dancing fire that heats the place. In Siwa you are in touch with your true self for there are no filters and no barriers to disturb you. The first night, they all left for the desert and I stayed behind. I took my sketchbook and pens and decided to meet the sunset alone, I was led to the highest roof top where the pink skies kissed the sun good bye and in seconds the sun drowned into the desert. I understood the sadness that the old arab poets used to feel when the sun sets, something ached my heart about it.

I ran down the stairs to catch the rising moon from the waters and it was a huge round orange moon bigger than any moon I have seen before. The still waters were shining with the moon light and my heart was beating so fast with the thrill of a diver not a moon watcher. Alone I was in the place and I could feel my soul resting in God's hands, I could feel my self meeting someone else too, it was death.

Death came to me and flirted, with no resistance I told him this place speaks of you too, not only of Beauty and life. He smiled and turned away as if he came just to remind me of the fact that he exists. I told God I never forget about death, it is the only truth I know after you. I feel like I have lived already and in Siwa I do not want anything more. I have loved, I have lived what more do I want? Death disappeared into the waters and the moon was back into focus filling the place with silver divine light. My heart was beating with fear and I heard the foot steps of the local workers and their breathing seemed louder than ever, suddenly I was afraid and I ran back to my room.

After a lot of sleeping and eating and being vulnerable to the hotel's system of food I enjoyed having no say in any of the planned events and I followed with great pleasure. The next day was my favorite I had already made a lot of friends, and we were planned to experience the desert. The magical place that it is. Again I felt like an Arabian princess from the times of my prophet as I laid under the sky that was overcrowded with the diamonds called stars. We were surrounded by beautiful sands and again the signs of God were every where. The desert spoke of years of history that she has witnessed and she was kind to us she hugged us all and above her we all resided.

Some played, some laid, some gathered around the fire, like nomads we felt the wisdoms of the gypsies and the bedouin life of change and beauty. I was overwhelmed by the stars and so were my friends and I could only praise the hand that placed them there. After a while something greater than the stars and more beautiful than anything I have ever seen before lit the world of the desert and made us all quiet for a while. It was the moon again, this time he was the king of the desert and his light showed us everything we needed to see. Everyone felt like hugging their lover and even friends started to feel a new spark between each other. The moon was flooding the place with a loving light. At that moment I thanked God that I was there and I wondered why is life not lived like that? and what was I doing in the city between the crowds, when God has granted me the gift of the desert?

I felt the pains of the poets in the desert and I knew about their infatuation with love itself. I understood how the prophets found God between the deserts and the mountains and I excused those who confused the moon and the sun into gods of there own. The beauty of the whole place and the taste of the food makes anyone want to pray and gets you in touch with the authentic person that you were meant to be.

I had to touch the sand and give thanks to it, I had no choice but to praise God for all the beauty that was there and I felt the beauty of the simple life, away from all the drama, away from all the pop culture, away from all the fake culture.

The next morning as we ate the omelette with the dates and exchanged questions like how was your sleep? and did you feel the fresh air? and did you have a good time last night?, I saw my friends smile fade into a shock and grief that is powerful enough to shake mountains. He fled the table and hid in his room when his friend told him the news. I asked the carrier of bad news what happened and he told me not knowing that I might have known the person we lost. Actually I knew him very well, he was my best friend's brother in law. As I grew up with my best friend he was there along the years and he was like my brother in law to me. I fled the table too like my friend who left before me. I was shocked and in disbelief for a while. I started walking to the water and I prayed for him and his wife and kids. I could not imagine what they were going through, if I feel this way then how do they? He was chosen like all those who left before, but he was the last person you would think would leave so fast. He was full of life and his energy and humor filled every place with laughs.

As I grew up he was there, one of those people you would think will always be there, because there presence is larger than life and they show their friends what fun is. I remembered that last year he has changed drastically, he was able to do the pilgrimage that every muslim is supposed to do, he has been pulled closer by God. When I saw him lately he would disappear and I would ask where he went and they would say he is praying. I wondered if he knew his destiny, I thanked God for bringing him to the light before he took him for good. But my heart ached and I could feel my stomach hallow. It was something I could not comprehend, it was another reminder of the nature of life and the truth of suffering. God brought us here he could take us anytime, death came to me two nights ago I did not know he did not speak to me and was telling me someone else was about to be taken.

I wanted to run to my best friend and be there for her but they did not want anyone there, all I was left with was praying for him and them, for patience for mercy for God to make it easier. Sometimes life can be harsher than one can bare, but when you understand the facts of life and death it should be easier, but in fact it never is.

Where did he go? Will I never hear his laugh again? Who am I to ask? its his family who should be asking? Who am I to ask its his God who brought him and took him back. The only truth I know is that we will all leave too.

Things started to appear trivial, everything in my life seemed stupid what upset me, what bothered me, fights and misunderstandings all seemed stupid. I was shaken and so was everyone, I was thinking of how can I prepare my self?

I questioned my path, I felt the impermanence of everything, I felt how lucky we are with every moment we have. I realized that this could happen to anyone, we are so vulnerable, we are so small. Which heart can take it all? I can take my departure but please God do not test me with what I can not handle.

I keep seeing flash backs of his ways and his face, he always knew how to make everyone happy, he was happiness for his family and friends. God chooses those we least expect to leave, showing us that we know nothing.

We are from God and to him we will return. In the desert there is God and his nature, at home there is God and many distractions, in life there is God and the choice to unite or not, in death there is only God and the moments we had but left not lived, the things unsaid, the light not captured.

reading life

reading is more important than writing

read was the first word uttered by the angel Gabriel when he told our beloved prophet the first word from God.

days pass like flashing lights so fast and what I planned to do always gets lost in the traffic.

I changed a lot lately in every way.

now I write down everything I even own a calculator and for that I am proud.

Lalla land sometimes traps one and makes them lose track of everything.

However I am proud of my heart and I do not care about survival of the fittest to hell with that

no body lives forever any way

traveling becomes a pilgrimage with time, every trip is in the end a search for God and every where we find him there.

The people here are exactly like the people every where

manifestations of the divine and reflections of his attributes show in the eyes of the awakened.

every where there are the sleep walkers and there are the awakened

there are the fake and there are the real

there are the always negative and complaining and there are the always positive and lifters of the soul

I love the latter, yes them I adore, they show me the light. Every day I learn something new, the last few days I learned that if I give my all in all that I do I will find GOD in the process thats why they say work is worship.

If I clean my kitchen with all my heart, if I focus just on that, in the process I purify my soul too, yes it is the cleaners that are with the purest hearts and the smallest egos. If you want to tame your ego, wash the dishes, clean the floors,even if you have help do it your self every once in a while.

In cooking I have found a palette and in the fire of the stove I have lost my memory, when I focused on the fire as I lit my in-cents that turn the house into a heaven, I realized that fire is beautiful and when I burned my self I realized it is a painful beauty, and I wished God that the hell fire is not where I will belong.

In fire I saw God, in cooking I found God, in painting I met God, In yOga I united with God, in people I see God and I began to learn about people things i never knew, things like features that tell stories and eyes that explain characters and with time the nature of this life makes more sense.

With no conclusion I conclude the need to reach out and to lose my self in perfecting a physical act. whatever you do do it with all of you, commit to it like my lover said, yes he was right, and when you read your spirit expands and in watching nature you take features of it with you wherever you go. I conclude that doing is being whatever that may mean it does make sense to me.