the science of happiness

yesterday I attended a sort of short seminar.

A speech that summed up a course about happiness given in Harvard.

It is my duty to share what I found out, or else I would be selfish.

Selfish are those who know and do not share.

I will just randomly write down all i can remember since i did not take notes.

it is very hard not to reciprocate happiness and smiling faces.

being positive is contagious

being negative is also contagious

any negative u see will pop up in ur brain too it is impossible not for it to

so it is important not to surround yourself with negative stimuli and be around negative people

there are practical things you could do to help you be happy

keep a journal

write down in detail the positive thing u experienced each day. reliving it while describing affects you and helps in ur over all positive state

before you go to bed say out loud the three things you are grateful for and it could not be just stating health,love, success you must be specific with details. recommended for couples to do together before they sleep especially if they involve each other.

this affects the lens to which u see the world, everything depends on the lens. through a dark lens so many opportunities are missed and so many possibilities are mistaken for random things.

the next thing you can do is meditate or do yoga it has been proven that meditation through religious or non religious ways like staring at the stars, just focusing on something other than work for a while makes people happy.

Exercise! it produces dopamine and that makes you happy.

take minutes out of your day to do a good deed to the world like helping people in any way.

connect with family and friends

its all stuff we knew but sometimes forget to apply.

the speaker was asked if people with religious faith were happier the answer was yes. research proved that faith makes you happy, through the meditation that every religion has, through the acts of giving that are required, through the social support you get through your faith. You are more prepared when you practice your belief system.

he also talked about how our brain fools us and stops us from doing what we wanna do because of illusionary barriers.

a way our brain does that is when you are home with sneakers and gym clothes on the brain thinks it is more effort to take the clothes off than to go to the gym, so u r more likely to hit the gym than take off your shoes and go to bed, if you already put them on.

so you can play on your brain like that fooling it so you can do the things you wanna do.

he also said that it takes 21 days to create a life long habit whatever it is.

this is all part of positive phycology something I am very interested in. While the classic phycology focuses on the disorders and the percentage of people with problems bringing down the majority based on the contagious theory, the study of positive phycology focuses on the happy people studies what they do and tries to teach the rest of us.

the future is in positive phycology there will be no more analysis of childhoods with abusive fathers and drowning of tears at therapy, the world will focus on the good you have and how to bring more of that.

I personally loved it so much, it agrees with my religious beliefs since based on Islamic teachings God gives you what you expect. Expect the best and you will get the best, miracles do happen and faith makes people smile.

Smiling is something my religious teachings encourage me to do, the hadith states that God has told our prophet something that means the following: if you were frowning and if your heart was hard the people would have not gathered around you.

be happy, be grateful, nobody is happy all the time, but being grateful for what we have only brings more.

the equation is not:

success+hard work= happiness

it is:

happiness+hard work= success and happiness

do not wait to be happy, nothing you will achieve or buy will bring happiness, happiness is self born, only you can be happy and the process starts from within.

annoyed by the algerian fans

the algerian fans beneath my house have become a tad annoying!

they did not move on. The game is over yet they still fill the

streets and they cannot stop cheering. Cheers are good, cheers are fun, but not when they stop our cars to shout at us. Cheers are cute until flags are burned.

What is all that hate that they have for us?

I realized it is a common feeling between both teams, but this is not a national war. In the end it is about a ball.

their cheer said " el masry fil sudan mesh hayewsal" meaing the Egyptian wont make it in Sudan.

On wednesday Egypt plays Algeria again in Sudan, but why isnt there cheer motivating their team players? their cheer is just annoying!!

Four trucks or more packed with policemen are parked in front of the embassy and the direct street to my house has been closed by law.

When the people cheer so much in the stadium it is great!

When they cheer walking out of the stadium it is also wonderful, but when they cheer a day after a game that they scored zero in, scaring the Egyptian pedestrians on their normal day of work or you name it, that is annoying.

It seems like the Egyptians are not the only hysterical people, we have found our match.

terror from the police and the algerian fans fills my street, the egyptians can not react because a thousand police men stand behind the algerians with pointing guns.

Rule number one :

never visit a country especially with a population like Egypt and burn their flag.

I really do not understand!!

the winners are in ecstasy

yesterday Egypt won the match and our hearts were jumping with happiness. Many people cried including my self. Although this victory is one of the few things we have going for us as egyptians it meant the world to us. i was so grateful that we won and that the cheers of the millions filled the streets. i was so glad our flag was once again proud. children chanting masr! which is what the word Egypt sounds like in arabic. I was in ecstasy last night and so were the 80 million Egyptians.

God stood by the poor people who have little to celebrate and made them dance with joy. Soccer is all they have now so the generous God of ours gave them that. Our Egyptian players fought like warriors knowing how much the game means to the Egyptians. It is not just a game for us, it is a matter of life or death. I was worried about the old men in the old coffee shops, that they would suffer from heart attacks. Thank God they survived, not just that but they went to bed smiling too.

If we had the same passion that we had for soccer, for work, for achievement, in political ambition we would have been the leaders of the world. Our over population yesterday was not a con it was inspiring. The sight of the millions marching and jumping in read wearing flags, wearing their hearts on their sleeves hugging and singing, was inspiring. Our over population is power, we can do anything together, if we unite like we did last night miracles could happen.

We are not weak as a nation we are strong we are even dangerous if you think about it. The beautiful thing about last night was that it was a carnival of love and joy it was divine and legendary. The cheers, the children singing, the flags everything was amazing. Everything about last night was proof that we can be a happy powerful, united, successful people.

Under the right guide we can be a force for the world. With help and right use of our power which is our passion and population the whole world can be our audience.

I wonder if soccer can be the next leading force for Egypt. If the people love it so much lets turn this country into the mecca of soccer. Let all the children be trained soccer professionally and in the name of soccer let children be enthusiastic to learn, let teachers teach with passion, let doctors cure with passion, let companies work for soccer, let the whole country be a soccer nation if it is the only thing that gets them going.

Let the government rule like a soccer coach, let us score, let us pass the ball to each other, let us focus on team work and let the people cheer for our big players.

Let the flag have a soccer ball on it, let us be the best soccer players in the world and let the people of the world buy plane tickets to witness our games.

Let us sell our players with millions, let us all be the soccer players of the world and let this land be known for that.

This is no joke or analogy, if we perfect one thing, and if soccer is the one thing we care about, let soccer inspire us and free us and let it be the reason we are humans again. Let the world come to play on our beautiful land and our perfect weather. Let the pyramids witness the most amazing games ever played. Let all the ugly buildings transform into dorms for players and their families and let the other jobs that we suck at blur in the background.

That high that we all felt last night may we feel it again, may we find other reasons to be proud that we are Egyptians, other than the pyramids, there must be something we can be good at, there must be talent on this land.

Right now we are good at loving soccer! cheering for soccer! and our team is great! and we are good at making more of us but the question is for what do we bring more people? There must be something for the new generation to be proud of other than the pyramids the nile, the soccer, and our classic movies.

last night we were happy we all prayed God that the millions sleep with smiles and that hearts do not break or stop, and God was kind and we did win. The nation danced to dawn last night, it was not just a game for us it was our only hope!!

Last night the Egyptians were in ecstasy, they were again proud, let there be more reasons for these people who lost their smiles and energy to smile and hold their flag again and remember who they used to be not many years ago.

Birthday Girl!!

Happy Birthday to the most beautiful woman inside and out.

My mother in law is no ordinary woman and any one who meets her understands.

I was dreaming of her last night and when I woke up my husband said that it is her birthday today.

I have heard of stories from friends and relatives describing mother in laws to be demons and devils who destroy the lives of couples, I got so lucky because my mother in law is an angel with out wings.

When I say she is an angel, this is not a compliment to her it is a fact. Any one I meet who knows her tells me the same exact thing, "your mother in law is an angel", and I say I know and I am lucky.

Even her voice vibrates in higher frequencies then the rest of us, she speaks in the tones of angels. She is beautiful inside and out, she is more of a best friend who you could tell anything to. I never knew I could find so much comfort in anyone besides my own mother. We laugh together, we shop together, we eat together. Although you might wonder if she eats like the rest of us, or if she feeds on the love of the people around her only.

She was a university professor and I wondered how lucky her students were. I thanked God I was not her student because she would have realized my limitations in physics and doubted my intelligence. she might have even warned her son that his future wife has no understandings of things beyond art and literature, thank God she met me after I graduated.

She is a shining light for her sister and the best aunt too. She is the best mother to two brilliant young men. She is as delicate as the roses from the gardens of heaven. She is as clever as Brie from house wives is in her cooking and home making. She could have been a fashion designer, with her class and slender figure she could have been a super model too.

She is the sun for her family and friends, she helps the world through her own n.g.o that she founded with her friends. She works to bridge the gaps between the poor and the rich. She even corrected the misspelled street signs in Luxor once, she did it on her time, for no rewards she works to help. She is a great planner, and she has the best taste in all she wears, holds, or owns.

She is a california girl at heart and a social star in her Egyptian home town. The best wife, the best mom, the best aunt, the best sister and the best friend. I am sure people were confused when they saw her for the first time, for she is too good to be true.

She is like the dream, like the clouds, like the fairy tales, like the queens of the old times and above all I am crazy about her. I love her madly and so does everyone who meets her, she is as sweet as the cakes she bakes. She is as warm as the soups she blends and cooks.

She is amazing in every way may God bless her and may she come back soon, may her family always be healthy may she always be happy!

She is a goddess of kindness and class and on her birthday I wish I could have hugged her and kissed her, but between us is an ocean, and with time I will be able to hug her again soon.

I hope she has a happy birthday because life has taught me the importance of happy birthdays. Although I do not believe in time and many times have I mocked the idea of celebrating a day, however now I have realized that a happy birthday is something worth thanking God for. A happy birthday brings a happy year, a happy birthday shows you that people love that you are here, that you came to this world.

May all your birthdays be happy my beautiful aunty Mona!

Love

Always

your daughter by law!!!! :)

The Beautiful Game

In Egypt Soccer is not just a game it is what is left for the people to hold on to in their country.
The Egyptians have lost all they had and the one thing they hold on to with their clinging nails is soccer.

It is the one thing they can still hold on to. Their trapped frustrations and silence about all that is corrupt and was once magnificent is transformed into a passion for soccer that seems more like a revolting angry force than an interest in a sport.

The people are looking for a reason to storm the streets and scream, a reason that is not political of course. The people's only legitimate scream is for the game. Their only spoken hope is for winning it. And today hopes are high streets are filled with drums and men dressed in red filled with anger towards the Algerians rather than cheers for their team.

I live next to the embassy of Algeria and the Algerians came and stood in front of their embassy in green and wearing the rage of wars not games. They cursed the Egyptians in French and unfortunately the students of the French schools around the embassy of Algeria understood so fights broke out, bottles were thrown and people got hurt.

WHY DO THE PEOPLE HAVE TO TURN EVERY BEAUTIFUL THING INTO A HATE CRIME?


Danger can be sensed in my street, police officers are everywhere and things are electrified.


What was meant to be a game, a sport, has become a national struggle and anger fills the red and the green teams. It has become the quest of the nation.

We Egyptians are like that- hysterical in all that we do. Hysterical about the swine flu! Hysterical about soccer, hysterical about any new topic and extremely emotional to boot. We like to stretch a subject and suck life out of it leaving it worn out. We exhaust ourselves with topics until new ones rise. If something new is going on every group will wear it out and every mouth will dry from over discussing it.

It is obviously sick how they are behaving and it is a way that they chose to transfer their frustrations.

I really hope that Egypt wins tomorrow and I even have the spirit to paint my whole body in the colors of my flag but I worry that if I go to the stadium I might not come back.

I pray that Egypt wins and my heart goes out to the team that carries the burden of a corrupt government and the duty to please people who have been disappointed for years. It is as if their victory will solve everything and suddenly the education will be better and the hospitals will have the means to cure the sick. As if the poor will have food if we win. As if freedom will spread her wings high if we win. As if we will be great again if our athletes win.

If the players win, we will feel their pride as if it was a result of our own feet on the court not theirs. We feel pride that only Roman gods should have. However, if they lose they might get beaten and cursed and disrespected like traitors to their land. As if the rules of any game did not include the possibility of winning or losing.

These players carry burdens that no man can bare for they are the only thing that keeps this country united and they are the only ones who make the people proud, the only thread of hope is them, God bless them, and may they succeed in making the millions jump with happiness, and if they fail please God protect them.

The Game is meant to end with a loser and a winner if you cannot take the fact that your team might lose then hide away and do not stay to watch the game tomorrow.

The fans must calm down tomorrow may there be no sorrow tomorrow. I truly deeply hope my Egyptian team wins tomorrow and that dreams and hearts do not shatter!

Dreams

she told that soon all my dreams will come true.

The problem is my dreams are endless and vague and confusing
I want so much that in the end i want nothing at all:

in love with the nile but dreaming of florence.
in love with life and dreaming of life in mecca where it is only the afterlife in focus.
in love with the beaches of the world and infatuated with the Brazilian tide.
in love with the rural life, the nomads life, the simple life and also the city life.
in love with san Francisco but always home sick when we reach the place.
dreams of theatre, art, and dancing.
dreams of galleries and success.
Dreams of healing people and touching lives.
dreams of writing and getting published.
dreams of recognition haunt me.
dreams of children and N.G.Os that help the world.
dreams of an immortal family or a group union with God instead of scattered dates of departure.
dreams of paradise and talking with God, dreams of enlightenment and freedom from suffering.

So is it possible that all my dreams come true as diverse as they are?
what are your dreams?
Are they different and impossible to coexist? Do you think our dreams should be clear and definite for them to come true?
or is it possible that the angels decode our confusions and know what is best for us making the most brilliant dream come true?

they always say be careful what you wish for and they say that for a reason.

Siwa and the Maktoub (destiny or the written)

Life and death are two sides of the same coin. Siwa is the place I just came back from and the sands of time stand still when you are there. In a place where electricity does not happen and life is lived in its most natural form, I have experienced siwa the magical place. Only three days felt like three years. What started as a fun trip in celebration of life ended in tears and in memory of a lost life.

We were a great group with great energy and everything there is pure and natural, with rooms that blend in the desert and candles that ignite your soul, surrounded by palm trees that sing our old egyptian songs and food that is planted and cooked away from the chemicals of the city life. It was like a dream breathing the fresh air and it was like being planted in a novel setting, I felt like a village princess from the times of my prophet. The air is fresh and dry and the oasis is screaming life in the middle of the desert. The hands of God marked every grain of sand and his beauty kissed every palm tree. The little mountains stood there with pride being what they are and knowing that it is best to be mountains. Nature is like that clear and simple and easy to love, a tree is a tree and the desert is the desert nothing takes the role of the other. The locals in Siwa live like the natural man was meant to live.

The funny thing is that I did not for one moment miss the t.v or my phone, like I knew nothing before Siwa and nothing after. In seconds the nature of the place embraces you and you blend in with the desert and your spirit finds comfort in watching the dancing fire that heats the place. In Siwa you are in touch with your true self for there are no filters and no barriers to disturb you. The first night, they all left for the desert and I stayed behind. I took my sketchbook and pens and decided to meet the sunset alone, I was led to the highest roof top where the pink skies kissed the sun good bye and in seconds the sun drowned into the desert. I understood the sadness that the old arab poets used to feel when the sun sets, something ached my heart about it.

I ran down the stairs to catch the rising moon from the waters and it was a huge round orange moon bigger than any moon I have seen before. The still waters were shining with the moon light and my heart was beating so fast with the thrill of a diver not a moon watcher. Alone I was in the place and I could feel my soul resting in God's hands, I could feel my self meeting someone else too, it was death.

Death came to me and flirted, with no resistance I told him this place speaks of you too, not only of Beauty and life. He smiled and turned away as if he came just to remind me of the fact that he exists. I told God I never forget about death, it is the only truth I know after you. I feel like I have lived already and in Siwa I do not want anything more. I have loved, I have lived what more do I want? Death disappeared into the waters and the moon was back into focus filling the place with silver divine light. My heart was beating with fear and I heard the foot steps of the local workers and their breathing seemed louder than ever, suddenly I was afraid and I ran back to my room.

After a lot of sleeping and eating and being vulnerable to the hotel's system of food I enjoyed having no say in any of the planned events and I followed with great pleasure. The next day was my favorite I had already made a lot of friends, and we were planned to experience the desert. The magical place that it is. Again I felt like an Arabian princess from the times of my prophet as I laid under the sky that was overcrowded with the diamonds called stars. We were surrounded by beautiful sands and again the signs of God were every where. The desert spoke of years of history that she has witnessed and she was kind to us she hugged us all and above her we all resided.

Some played, some laid, some gathered around the fire, like nomads we felt the wisdoms of the gypsies and the bedouin life of change and beauty. I was overwhelmed by the stars and so were my friends and I could only praise the hand that placed them there. After a while something greater than the stars and more beautiful than anything I have ever seen before lit the world of the desert and made us all quiet for a while. It was the moon again, this time he was the king of the desert and his light showed us everything we needed to see. Everyone felt like hugging their lover and even friends started to feel a new spark between each other. The moon was flooding the place with a loving light. At that moment I thanked God that I was there and I wondered why is life not lived like that? and what was I doing in the city between the crowds, when God has granted me the gift of the desert?

I felt the pains of the poets in the desert and I knew about their infatuation with love itself. I understood how the prophets found God between the deserts and the mountains and I excused those who confused the moon and the sun into gods of there own. The beauty of the whole place and the taste of the food makes anyone want to pray and gets you in touch with the authentic person that you were meant to be.

I had to touch the sand and give thanks to it, I had no choice but to praise God for all the beauty that was there and I felt the beauty of the simple life, away from all the drama, away from all the pop culture, away from all the fake culture.

The next morning as we ate the omelette with the dates and exchanged questions like how was your sleep? and did you feel the fresh air? and did you have a good time last night?, I saw my friends smile fade into a shock and grief that is powerful enough to shake mountains. He fled the table and hid in his room when his friend told him the news. I asked the carrier of bad news what happened and he told me not knowing that I might have known the person we lost. Actually I knew him very well, he was my best friend's brother in law. As I grew up with my best friend he was there along the years and he was like my brother in law to me. I fled the table too like my friend who left before me. I was shocked and in disbelief for a while. I started walking to the water and I prayed for him and his wife and kids. I could not imagine what they were going through, if I feel this way then how do they? He was chosen like all those who left before, but he was the last person you would think would leave so fast. He was full of life and his energy and humor filled every place with laughs.

As I grew up he was there, one of those people you would think will always be there, because there presence is larger than life and they show their friends what fun is. I remembered that last year he has changed drastically, he was able to do the pilgrimage that every muslim is supposed to do, he has been pulled closer by God. When I saw him lately he would disappear and I would ask where he went and they would say he is praying. I wondered if he knew his destiny, I thanked God for bringing him to the light before he took him for good. But my heart ached and I could feel my stomach hallow. It was something I could not comprehend, it was another reminder of the nature of life and the truth of suffering. God brought us here he could take us anytime, death came to me two nights ago I did not know he did not speak to me and was telling me someone else was about to be taken.

I wanted to run to my best friend and be there for her but they did not want anyone there, all I was left with was praying for him and them, for patience for mercy for God to make it easier. Sometimes life can be harsher than one can bare, but when you understand the facts of life and death it should be easier, but in fact it never is.

Where did he go? Will I never hear his laugh again? Who am I to ask? its his family who should be asking? Who am I to ask its his God who brought him and took him back. The only truth I know is that we will all leave too.

Things started to appear trivial, everything in my life seemed stupid what upset me, what bothered me, fights and misunderstandings all seemed stupid. I was shaken and so was everyone, I was thinking of how can I prepare my self?

I questioned my path, I felt the impermanence of everything, I felt how lucky we are with every moment we have. I realized that this could happen to anyone, we are so vulnerable, we are so small. Which heart can take it all? I can take my departure but please God do not test me with what I can not handle.

I keep seeing flash backs of his ways and his face, he always knew how to make everyone happy, he was happiness for his family and friends. God chooses those we least expect to leave, showing us that we know nothing.

We are from God and to him we will return. In the desert there is God and his nature, at home there is God and many distractions, in life there is God and the choice to unite or not, in death there is only God and the moments we had but left not lived, the things unsaid, the light not captured.