strong and alone

being in love
mated for life as an intention
you tend to lose many of your skills as a survivor
you depend on another
for finding someone to share your time
you depend on them to share your food
you get addicted to their presence
you get addicted to their voice
you become an addict to that person

they enter your consciousness your psyche
your spirit and you become transparent
you share your core
your d.n.a
your essence
all of you

and then when you part
even for a short time
you are left like an addict without your drug
lost
itching for them
in pain
in fear
in confusion



you miss them
you miss the you you know now
the you that spends time with them

your friends
your family
your lovers
your husbands
your wives
your children

they come too close
in a dangerous zone

we have to learn to be strong alone
in love but strong
sensitive but strong

keep yourself when you fall in love
keep your self no one else will keep it for you

keep your self when in love
keep your soul when you give
give but not parts of yourself
give only love
do not give your soul
do not give your being

stay strong
stay strong
when alone stay strong
remember your true self

remember the first relationship ever the divine one with your self
and when they leave or when you leave for a while
for a longer time than the time you were prepared to do with
your comfort zone is altered
it is dangerous being in love

you get swallowed
you think you do not need anything else
you tangle your soul around the person
you think you have rights of knowledge
you think you should be the first to know about all the details

you think you are betrayed when only parts of stories are told
deep love makes you expect so much
deep love makes you lose your self
deep love makes you drown deep in a fantasy world
where you give your heart and soul

you become a witness of another life
and when they leave you are shocked to know you lost parts of yourself
you can not function
being so young
you forgot your past
being so moldable you gave in to their form and lost your own shape

being alone you try to remember who you were
what you used to do
who you used to call
who you used to be
and where you used to go

when someone becomes your routine
your every day life they enter your consciousness
they reshape your existence and you suffer consequences alone
no body knows or imagines the pain love brings

is it easier having a solid heart
a heart shielded with walls
a heart that works under the mind
a heart that knows when to stop giving
a heart that preserves it self!

i want that heart that aches less and feels more joy